Moving Cross Country Day 19,111

You get the idea. 

Yesterday I realized I forgot to tell folks we were moving. I mean, I strategically mentioned the whole Florida-thing at church a few Sundays ago, knowing the word would get around. I thought that would be enough. 

But it wasn't. There are folks in Texarkana who don't go to this church--or any other church who hadn't heard. So, I posted on the ole' Facebook. Word got out. I'm overwhelmed by the kindness of others. 

***

We have a few logistics issues that, had I not been a former real estate agent, we would have been blindsided by. The biggie being how sellers sign over the deed for their home. 

I thought sellers just came in and signed when it suited them. Not in Texas. Here, it's a big party the day of closing, where the buyer and seller get together and sign all together. And according to the small minded, inflexible  escrow officer there's no other way to do this--even if the seller will be in, say...Florida? the day of closing. This has caused a huge cluster of crazy. Fortunately, the escrow officer in Florida stepped up (also agreeing that that has to be the stupidest thing either of us has heard of) and is willing to help get us signed so we can close on our new house and not be in breach of contract. 

What gets me is that nobody bothered to mention this until I reached out to escrow and tried to make an appointment to sign. I was told no. I explained the situation and was still told no. I offered to find a power of attorney who'd sign on my behalf. That was a "hell no." (because title officers are lazy and just don't want to deal with the paperwork) I have to sign--no matter what--on the day of closing. 

The unfortunate result of this is we are leaving another day early to meet with the Florida escrow officer, around her schedule. 

***

In other news, I have two good-bye food dates today (soup!) and two good-bye food dates tomorrow. I'm tired of eating. And I'm really tired of saying good-bye. It is emotionally draining and I'm overwhelmed by the kindness of others. 

Moving Cross Country Day 9,871:

Today we made significant progress packing and loading the Uboxes. Though we aren't leaving for another week and half, no matter! The beds and lamps are already snuggly stowed away. I'm sitting on my mattress, which is on the floor, writing this in the dark. Marty and I are taking bets on how many animals will decide they need to sleep with us tonight. I'm voting for zero, but my educated guess is at least two. 

Polly is house-sitting on a farm outside of New Boston Texas for the next week. She's come back to help when summoned, but overall would prefer to stick to her edge of the world. Buck has a week left at work. 

Yesterday, Polly came into town to help me schlep the Overlords to the vet so they would be current on their shots before we left. We also bought three months' worth of medicine for Luna so I wouldn't have to speed date vets the day I arrived. By the way, I am doubling down on my number of pets in the bed. Roosevelt will definitely be here, smothering me in my sleep for taking him to see Doc P. yesterday.

Speaking of Doc P., he is looking for a vet for us who can handle Luna's delicate immune system. I'm gonna miss Doc. 

Tomorrow we are hoping to make it through a bit more packing and loading--barring the weather. Thunderstorms stymied our progress today. 

Oh yes, still thinking about David, his wonderful wife and poor daughters. Probably will for a long while. I did talk with Bonus Dad. He's going to risk flying to Chicago for the funeral. Because I'm in the middle of this crazy, I won't be going, but I'd like to. 

It's All I've Got

Around 3 a.m., I wrote a mental essay about grief that I thought I'd get around to posting later in the day. I had comments about grieving leaving East Texas and the lovely people I've met. Grieving the so-called friends who've taken the time to eloquently tell me everything wrong about me, my life choices and my children. Grieving the wonderful real friends I've made. And Grieving David, who's passing is so raw to his family and me, I can't shut off the tears long enough to call Bonus Dad. 

Instead, all I've got is this: grief sucks.  

Today's News

 

David is now hanging out with his mother and little sister

Bonus Mom and Dad's son, David, suffered a massive heart attack yesterday. He didn't wake up. As for me, I'm walking around like a zombie, mired in grief. 

David is the reason I know Bonus Mom and Dad. And for that alone, I'm thoroughly grateful to him. 

For forty years, he'd been a great friend in many happy and dark moments. He'd been encouraging me for years to buy a place on the Lake so we could spend our families could spend our summers together.  David leaves behind a wonderful (WONDERFUL!) wife and two equally terrific teenaged daughters. Though my heart is hurting, I can't imagine what kind of hell they are going through right now. 

Public Service Announcement

Pro Tip: If you ever feel the need to give me your two cents about my life and what you think of the choices I've made, please feel free to keep it to yourself. I didn't ask. I'm not twelve. I'm a grown woman who can think for herself. I'm willing to part ways with "friends" who feel called upon to share their unsolicited opinions about my life, my marriage and my adult children. 

It's Official

 

Marty and I have spent a week looking for a new place to live. Well, we've actually spent months in analysis, conversation and discernment figuring out where we wanted to live. I wanted a small town vibe. He wanted a place where there's more chance for employment. When we came to Florida in May, we found a few areas. When we came this week, we (finally) found a house. 

We are moving to DeBary, Florida. The place is part of the greater "Deltona, Daytona Beach, Deland, Debary Metro" area (yes, really). DeBary is half way between Orlando and Daytona Beach. The population is 22,000--but the entire metro area population is closer to the size of Mesa or Tucson. Because of the bottleneck into the Orlando area caused by waterways, DeBary feels like it's on the outskirts of town instead of Orlando/Sanford adjacent. I'm totally okay with that. So far, the people are friendly. The area is clean. Oh yes! They have a dinosaur named Clayton. 

What I've Learned This Week

1. I'm not a patient person. 

2. I'm not at my best when I'm on the verge of homelessness. 

3. Marty is a patient husband and a better person than me. 

4. I've seen every floorplan imaginable since 2003. I can walk into a home and instantly know if it will work. I shop for houses the way I shop for toasters. 

5. I decided on Monday which house I wanted. Marty decided Tuesday. The offer was written. It's Friday morning and I'm told the sellers "will sign it soon." 

6. I have no desire to live in this hotel any longer. And, if they don't "sign soon." I'm probably going to be in this hotel for another four days. 

7. See bullet item 2.