A Surprise Send-Off

I'm a bit floored by the phone call I received today. It was the pastor of the Church of Christ. I knew he has my number (and e-mail). He knows my name. He knows Marty Sunshine. We've texted before about random things. I think the world of his wife too. But I've always just assumed I'm just someone in the congregation. 

Anyway, the pastor called because he wanted to know if lunch was an option tomorrow. Not just the Sunshines and him, but his wife and a few others who know us. Yes. Lunch sounds great--and not only because every pan here on Arizona Avenue is packed. The gang getting together makes me laugh. 

Then he asked if the Sunshines would like to come up to the front, during Chruch have the elders surround us and pray over Marty and I. His other option was to mention we were leaving from the pulpit, and and wish us well. I went with option two, lest we scare off Marty and Buck, who both plan on coming. And honestly, I am not someone who wants to stand in front of a bunch of folks and be surrounded by elders praying over me anyway. 

Not gonna lie, I broke down during our phone call, overwhelmed by the extension of friendship. This is how amazing this church is. Friendly. Positive. It speaks volumes that three Catholics from the same family attend voluntarily--though only one of the three goes regularly. This isn't a small church. On any given Sunday, there's about 400 people in the pews. I'm not friendly, but I'm not standoffish either. But I honestly never expected anything like this. And I assure you, nothing like this happens in a Catholic church.  

All Grown Up

 

2006

2010

Pollywog is 26 today. Hard to believe this sweet thing is so grown up. At one time she'd discuss the finer points of chocolate candy. Now, she's talking about a restaurant in Florida she heard of where she and I can order chocolate martinis. 

It is also my youngest brother's birthday. He's 53 today. 

Moving Cross Country Day 19,111

You get the idea. 

Yesterday I realized I forgot to tell folks we were moving. I mean, I strategically mentioned the whole Florida-thing at church a few Sundays ago, knowing the word would get around. I thought that would be enough. 

But it wasn't. There are folks in Texarkana who don't go to this church--or any other church who hadn't heard. So, I posted on the ole' Facebook. Word got out. I'm overwhelmed by the kindness of others. 

***

We have a few logistics issues that, had I not been a former real estate agent, we would have been blindsided by. The biggie being how sellers sign over the deed for their home. 

I thought sellers just came in and signed when it suited them. Not in Texas. Here, it's a big party the day of closing, where the buyer and seller get together and sign all together. And according to the small minded, inflexible  escrow officer there's no other way to do this--even if the seller will be in, say...Florida? the day of closing. This has caused a huge cluster of crazy. Fortunately, the escrow officer in Florida stepped up (also agreeing that that has to be the stupidest thing either of us has heard of) and is willing to help get us signed so we can close on our new house and not be in breach of contract. 

What gets me is that nobody bothered to mention this until I reached out to escrow and tried to make an appointment to sign. I was told no. I explained the situation and was still told no. I offered to find a power of attorney who'd sign on my behalf. That was a "hell no." (because title officers are lazy and just don't want to deal with the paperwork) I have to sign--no matter what--on the day of closing. 

The unfortunate result of this is we are leaving another day early to meet with the Florida escrow officer, around her schedule. 

***

In other news, I have two good-bye food dates today (soup!) and two good-bye food dates tomorrow. I'm tired of eating. And I'm really tired of saying good-bye. It is emotionally draining and I'm overwhelmed by the kindness of others. 

Moving Cross Country Day 9,871:

Today we made significant progress packing and loading the Uboxes. Though we aren't leaving for another week and half, no matter! The beds and lamps are already snuggly stowed away. I'm sitting on my mattress, which is on the floor, writing this in the dark. Marty and I are taking bets on how many animals will decide they need to sleep with us tonight. I'm voting for zero, but my educated guess is at least two. 

Polly is house-sitting on a farm outside of New Boston Texas for the next week. She's come back to help when summoned, but overall would prefer to stick to her edge of the world. Buck has a week left at work. 

Yesterday, Polly came into town to help me schlep the Overlords to the vet so they would be current on their shots before we left. We also bought three months' worth of medicine for Luna so I wouldn't have to speed date vets the day I arrived. By the way, I am doubling down on my number of pets in the bed. Roosevelt will definitely be here, smothering me in my sleep for taking him to see Doc P. yesterday.

Speaking of Doc P., he is looking for a vet for us who can handle Luna's delicate immune system. I'm gonna miss Doc. 

Tomorrow we are hoping to make it through a bit more packing and loading--barring the weather. Thunderstorms stymied our progress today. 

Oh yes, still thinking about David, his wonderful wife and poor daughters. Probably will for a long while. I did talk with Bonus Dad. He's going to risk flying to Chicago for the funeral. Because I'm in the middle of this crazy, I won't be going, but I'd like to. 

It's All I've Got

Around 3 a.m., I wrote a mental essay about grief that I thought I'd get around to posting later in the day. I had comments about grieving leaving East Texas and the lovely people I've met. Grieving the so-called friends who've taken the time to eloquently tell me everything wrong about me, my life choices and my children. Grieving the wonderful real friends I've made. And Grieving David, who's passing is so raw to his family and me, I can't shut off the tears long enough to call Bonus Dad. 

Instead, all I've got is this: grief sucks.  

Today's News

 

David is now hanging out with his mother and little sister

Bonus Mom and Dad's son, David, suffered a massive heart attack yesterday. He didn't wake up. As for me, I'm walking around like a zombie, mired in grief. 

David is the reason I know Bonus Mom and Dad. And for that alone, I'm thoroughly grateful to him. 

For forty years, he'd been a great friend in many happy and dark moments. He'd been encouraging me for years to buy a place on the Lake so our families could spend our summers together.  David leaves behind a wonderful (WONDERFUL!) wife and two equally terrific teenaged daughters. Though my heart is hurting, I can't imagine what kind of hell they are going through right now. 

Public Service Announcement

Pro Tip: If you ever feel the need to give me your two cents about my life and what you think of the choices I've made, please feel free to keep it to yourself. I didn't ask. I'm not twelve. I'm a grown woman who can think for herself. I'm willing to part ways with "friends" who feel called upon to share their unsolicited opinions about my life, my marriage and my adult children.