During my latest Zoom convo with my 10 year old nephew, we discussed the best Pink Floyd album. Both of us agree it is Dark Side of the Moon, with Wish you Were Here a close second.
Then Patrick told me all about the Toyota Hilux, which isn't sold in the United States. I believe there are about 70 YouTube videos related to the Toyota Hilux in my e-mail I need to watch before we chat again.
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| In other news, Marty Sunshine owes me a pickup truck. But that's for another post. |
It has been several months since I managed to piss off and offend a bunch of Karens mentioned to the Ladies Auxiliary that we, as a church community could do more to make our new church members feel welcome. In that time, the Ladies Auxiliary has been strangely polite to me, as if they just don't quite understand how to take me. Honestly, I intended no harm but I did want to help my church make new members feel welcome. Also, since then, I've gone to the Church of Christ church and seen glowing examples of how to make newcomers feel like part of the community. I'd mention these examples to this group, but I am pretty sure it would just open a raw wound.
Meanwhile, I'm under the distinct impression these women just don't know what to do with me. After all, if they acknowledge to my face that I offended them (which I assure you was completely unintentional--I even had suggestions like we could reach out to new members--not me, mind you, but other new people in our church--and, you know, call them and say hello and welcome!), they would have to acknowledge they are cliquish, which they are. If they do nothing, then they would have to admit they have all the help they need and can officially stop complaining how nobody is joining and wanting to assist their committees. But either way, my comment made things a bit awkward.
I noticed the shift in April. A last minute group text went out, changing our meeting date and time. The new date and time just so happened to coincide with the day of my hand surgery. When I texted the group back, saying I couldn't make it because I was having surgery, I got a reply of, "well, if you change your mind, come join us."* Because I can be in two places at once or because surgery is a mere suggestion?
In May, the group text came out saying the meeting date was changed to while I was in Arizona. I sent a text saying, "sorry, I'm in Arizona. See you in June." I was never given notes, minutes or follow up from either meeting. I wasn't the only one replying, nor was I the only one missing the meetings.
If there was a June meeting, I wasn't sent a text. I did hear after the fact the Ladies Auxiliary handled the church picnic and a trivia night. Neither were mentioned to me. Nor was I asked to participate. I read the bulletin, so I knew both were happening (the Sunshines attended neither), but nobody said the Ladies Auxiliary were in charge (there are several groups which could have spearheaded this).
When a group text came out asking for cleaning next month, I responded with: "I can help out on July 13." Then crickets. Several texts later, Rene said, "July 13th works for me." A response promptly came, "Rene, thanks! I'll put you down."
This week there is a big hoopla Thursday night. When Margie asked for volunteers, I wrote, "I'm free, please put me down where you need me," and meant it. Margie replied in the group text giving me the worst of the worst job (8:30 p.m. clean up at the church BY MYSELF). Figuring 1) I'd enlist Polly's help, 2) It couldn't be that hard if they only needed one person, I replied to the group text with a, "Happy to help. Thanks!" However, when the group text came out yesterday as a reminder of everyone's role, I wasn't on the list. Two people are now handling the clean up. Was I fired or was it a typo and I am one of the two cleaning up? Polly and I will be at the church at that time anyway tomorrow night, so we'll help out.
I'd say the writing is on the wall. However, now that I mentioned my concerns last winter, these women seem to go out of their way to be awkwardly nice to me. I mean, it feels genuine, but then again, I do have a skeptical eyebrow raised. Lisa rushed across the vestibule two weeks ago to greet me. Margie hugged me Sunday after mass (though honestly, I didn't want a hug). Jess, just sent me a Facebook friend request. I certainly hope they are going out of their way to treat other newcomers the same way.
Then there's this: Catholic Ladies Auxiliary Cassie asked Church of Christ Patty about me. This comes from Patty. Cassie apparently noticed Patty and I were FB friends--though Cassie and I aren't. Patty tells me--and I'm not making this up--she wanted the inside scoop on why I hang out with the Church of Christ crowd.
While I'm still a member of the local Catholic church, I'd like to be involved. Being part of this group might be a way to do so. But, maybe not. Hoping to set an example, I've taken on being more welcoming with new folks at my church, because I can do that. Even if these women aren't interested in doing their part, I can still do what I stand for.
I just hope this bunch gets over themselves.
*When I had my surgery, my Church of Christ friends went out of their way for me. One called Polly, asking for updates and then gave the updates to everyone else. One sent over a Door Dash gift card. Several others offered to bring over meals (no thank you). I was inundated with phone calls, texts and social media messages for two weeks, asking for updates and offers for everything from coming over to keep me company to running errands--all this for outpatient hand surgery! I certainly didn't expect my church community to go to this kind of effort, but perhaps for the next person who mentions they are having a medical procedure they could do more than, "if you change your mind..."
Last Saturday night, me and three of the Coronas went to dinner and to see an Elvis impersonator in downtown Texarkana. I'm not a big Elvis fan, but I was sufficiently impressed. I even recognized most of his songs. I might have even sung along to a few.
It's People Month here at the Sunshine house. I'm tuckered, but grateful. Today Squirrel, his Bride and Patrick return to Arizona. I slept horribly last night, knowing how much I'm going to miss them. It's no exaggeration to say this has been my happiest week living in Texarkana.
Last weekend we took them to the Four States Auto Museum (located in Texarkana Arkansas). The entire museum, like all museums in small towns is the size of a two-car garage. It was my second time there. I honestly don't need to go back. Ever. However, Marty loves the place.
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| Yep, that's it. |
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| Fortunately, there's seating for those of us who finish this tour in less than 3 minutes. |
We also went to all sorts of touristy locales, most not located in Texarkana. Tuesday we ventured to the Crater of Diamonds National Park in Arkansas, about 45 miles from here and dug for diamonds. It was hot, there was no shade, we found zero diamonds. But it sure was fun. On the way back, we stopped by Washington Arkansas, a historic town where I took Bonus Dad a couple of weeks ago.
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| In the only shady spot at the Crater of Diamonds National Park |
On the way back we stopped by the Texas-Louisiana-Arkansas state line, where Patrick stood in three states at once.
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| The actual survey marker denoting the three states |
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| The sign, next to the survey marker. For those who don't want to venture into the poison ivy and critter-infested area to stand on the survey marker. |
Yesterday we went to Jefferson, Texas. On Patrick's bucket list was the Museum of Measurement and Time. It was actually pretty cool, and for a small-town museum, it was larger than most: about the size of seven two car garages. I'm going to drag Bonus Dad there next time he's in town.
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| One of several rooms of clocks, survey equipment, Victrolas, maps and so much more. An interesting place! |
Otherwise, we walked around, looking at shops, eating ice cream and just being family. Oh yes! We also went to the Tractor Supply store, because Squirrel heard me bragging about how awesome they are. He now agrees.
In our downtime, Squirrel and Patrick kicked the soccer ball around. Squirrel rarely gets "downtime." We played cards. And we did quite a bit of laughing.
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| My Favorite Human, Circa 2016 |
Patrick has the vacation vibe going for him. So far, he's been wearing his "Don't mess with Texas" and his Buc'cees shirts. I think the guy is going to need more Texas wardrobe before long.
Yesterday Buckaroo took Patrick to Holiday World, Texarkana's idea of a water park. I imagine something like a water slide and a river raft ride the size of a swimming pool. But I don't know, because I didn't even know Texarkana had a water park until yesterday when Buck announced this was happening.
And may I say, way to go Buckaroo for doing this!
My deep wish is Squirrel and his family will move here. His bride isn't sold on the area. There are several factors that make this undoable, including she has a mother and adult children in Phoenix. The incredible thunderstorms yesterday morning probably didn't help Texarkana's Chamber of Commerce pitch either.
At 7:30 a.m., my kitchen went from whatever passes for daylight around here to pitch black. I looked out the window to see the wind blowing and next thing I know, lightening was flashing through the sky, as hail pelted my windows. After a peek at the weather app, I decided we weren't under a tornado threat, so I left them alone. However, they didn't miss out on the storm.
We have a few outings planned for the week. Some when Patrick's folks return. Some for before they come back. Additionally, I'm enlisting Patrick's help in the garden. Plus, we need to make fried green tomatoes (I lost a bunch in the garden from the latest storm) and fried chicken--his mother isn't thrilled about this, because she is afraid he will insist on making it when they get back to Arizona "I know how Mom! Auntie showed me. I don't need help." This isn't an exaggeration. He can now cook a lot of other things because Auntie (and Polly) showed him how. Plus, we are going to the movies with a friend of mine and her grandson.
And oh yes! Patrick is also fixing my vacuum cleaner. Because he can.
I made it through 95 percent of mass before I broke down, bawling in the pews. Because, why not publicly embarrass myself?
I miss my dad.
