The Nope List

When I first moved here, I had zero hobbies, no life and a lot of time. I said yes to every invitation that came along--not that many came along that first year. I remember walking around the grocery store,  trying to strike up conversations with strangers just to have human interaction. My activity level didn't pick up until last year, when I was test driving new hobbies and speed-dating new friends. This year was more status quo, and I learned something: I don't want this many hobbies and I don't need to have this many people in my life.

Though I'm grateful for these experiences, I'm ready to let some of these things go. Therefore, I've started my 2025 Nope List. 

The Gathering of Authors--as an author or volunteer In fact, I'm really okay if I have nothing to do with this event in any capacity for any reason at any point in the future. 

The Community Garden Coalition I haven't written much (if at all) about it. The short version is this: it is under the umbrella of the Master Gardeners. The woman who runs it has zero leadership skills whatsoever. Her husband is an insufferable know-it-all who dislikes anyone who challenges him with logic and facts. I'm not a good long-term fit because: 1) There's no future vision for this group, and when I've pushed the woman in charge, what I've discovered is that if I'm not careful I could be the one running it in a couple of years 2) The husband and I butt heads. It's best to bow out gracefully, while this group is still in its infancy. There are other opportunities I can find within the Master Gardeners. 

Leadership Roles At the last Master Gardener meeting, the issue of needing people to serve as officers came up. Some %#^&$! piped up and nominated me for treasurer. Obviously this person has no clue, because any soul who's had two conversations with me knows better than to put me in charge of a detailed spreadsheet of numbers. I said, "I'm not a good fit, plus, I'm going to have to miss several meetings next year." Or at least, I'm now going to miss several of them. Speaking of leadership roles, I'm currently the secretary of the Golden Quill Writer group. It was supposed to be until January, however, we recognized changing officers three months into this new group was foolish. What I do isn't difficult and takes very little time. But I'm a one-term secretary. 

The Saturday Book Club I like these ladies, however, most of the time, they don't read the book. They just get together, have a (terrible) lunch and catch up from the last time they saw each other. I hate going and finding out I took the time to read the book and have put effort and thought into the story only to discover nobody else did. 

The Library Book Club These folks aren't my peers. There's no discussion. The facilitator asks us to rank the book 1-5 and would we recommend it to a friend? Most of the time the books aren't that great or thought-provoking.  

The Tuesday/Friday Lunch Bunch I don't think I've written about these women. They are wonderful and get together twice a week. They aren't religious, are known to drop an occasional swear word when the occasion calls for it and have a variety of broad perspectives on any given topic. I'm not real active with them, however they are still welcoming when I show up. Though every time I'm with them, it is an enjoyable experience, they just don't meet at a convenient time for me. Also, I am the youngest of this group by about 12 years. Of all that I am letting go, this is the one that makes me the saddest.

Sacred Heart Catholic Church I still go to St. Edward's Catholic Church (St. Ed's) on occasion. But I'm done with Sacred Heart. The church is dirty. The priest insists on incense (an old Catholic tradition designed to accelerate the climb to Heaven through suffocating parishioners). This particular priest also likes to shake his finger and tell those who took the time to show up how those who aren't in the pews are destined to a potential damnation. At least at St. Ed's, the priest just gives a nice history lesson based on the Gospel reading. He's much more interesting and less damning. Plus the church is clean and I can breathe. 

All Committees Related to Sacred Heart Catholic Church I am not currently part of any committee related to Sacred Heart Catholic Church. However, I get regular text messages from the Ladies Auxiliary and a couple other committees someone thought I needed to be on. I never respond because I never volunteered to be on these committees. I'm now ready to reply to the group texts and ask that my name be taken off the roster. 

Angel Quilters I tried out this group. They have a great mission. They make quilts for cancer patients. I have zero issues making quilts for cancer patients. I have zero issues making quilts and giving it to the Angel Quilters to pass on to cancer patients. I have a million issues with spending five hours every Tuesday afternoon with these women while they bash whatever they are grumpy about on this particular day. The last time I went, they went on a collective rant about how stupid and greedy realtors are. Given I was outnumbered, I saw no reason to correct their collective opinion. There've been other collective rants I haven't agreed with, and five hours a week of group-think is a little too much. 

Nominated for the Nope List 

One of my online writing groups I have two. Both have been in hiatus. Neither group has the personality profile where I would feel comfortable suggesting they be combined into one bigger group. Additionally, I'm finding I only miss ONE member from ONE group and her specific writing feedback. Given I own the Zoom account, they count on me to facilitate this. I don't have a desire to facilitate at this time. 

The reason I'm not taking this off my list just yet is because we haven't been meeting. If the groups (except the one writer I mentioned) die out that's fine. If I can find a different writing group (bringing in the writer I mentioned), I'd be fine with that.