Very Random Texarkana*

Jesus is everywhere.
He's about an inch
and a half high. 

I uttered, "Hold the mayo" on my Taco Tuesday taco order. 

People who've just met will ask for classifications such as, "Are you part of the Ashdown (Arkansas) Johnsons?" or "Which church do you attend?" or "Where do you like to fish?"

On the Texas-Arkansas state line, the State of Arkansas, in their certifiable wisdom, is changing the Interstate 30 on-ramp with traffic lights and replacing it with--I'm not making this up--a traffic circle. 

It had to be explained to someone in my presence that a Southern accent does not equal a lack of intelligence. I thought everyone knew that. 

I was part of a group text this week asking if anyone had a "spare" half-bag of potting soil.

There's a bunch of tiny and rubberized Jesuses floating around, everywhere. I got mine from Deb, the Queen of the Coronas. 

I've been at Bob's Quilt Shop four times in the past week. I've bought zero fabric in that time. FOUR TIMES. In fact, I'm currently not working on any sewing projects. 

I might have accidentally made the sign of the cross during a prayer at a Baptist church recently.  

I've come to the conclusion that if someone on Facebook calls you out for being, "rude," it's the biggest insult imaginable. And to call out a worker at a business for being, "rude" might get the company boycotted.  

Overheard: "Why is your shower so high?" "Because my wife is tall." 

Me: "Mr. Jerry passed away last month." Other person: "Are you sure?" (I sent a sympathy card, so yes, I'm sure.) 

People quote Bible verses in normal conversation as evidence when argue their point--whether or not the verse applies. AND people defer to Scripture for the last say on topics--also whether or not the verse applies. 

I was talking to a woman who told me picking figs is "harder than picking okra." (It isn't.)  

People freely give canning recipes and directions with the same amount of authority. "Go past the Dollar General on Kings Highway--the one on the South, mind you..." and "Add just a bit of sugar--white, not brown, mind you."

Sometime in the next few days I guess I'm making fig preserves.  

Saying, "be safe," or "take care," is how people around here say good-bye. It's the equivalent to, "you matter to me."  

I don't care what anyone thinks. Sweet tea is just uncarbonated soda. 

If one were to leave their car windows down for any length of time, they'd mostly find zucchini from someone's garden in the front seat and a colony of yellowjackets in the back seat.

*I'm in the middle of a ton of edits.