Life with Pets

Luna came home yesterday, with a few shaved sections and four tubes sticking out of her. The tubes are "leaky," which means blood randomly spurts through the tubes and around the tubes, leaving droplets throughout the house. Additionally, we are told Luna is not to jump on the bed or on furniture. However, nobody told Luna she shouldn't jump. 

This has caused a bit of an issue because: 

1: Luna likes to be with me. Everywhere. Always. This is all sorts of wonderful, but when I'm sewing, I don't need her underfoot in the master bedroom. 

2: The master bedroom is one of the few rooms with carpet. Did I mention Luna bleeds? 

3: Our bed is higher than normal beds and she will want to jump on our bed with stitches and the bloody tubes sticking out of her. 

Additionally, the Overlords have been offering their sympathies by stealing her toys and trying to lick her wounds. 

All that is to say, Marty graciously took Luna last night on the couch and I grabbed the Overlords and threw them in the master bedroom and let them wreck chaos throughout the night. Marty and I are disagreeing on who had the raw end of the deal. 

***Bonus Content*** 

Real conversation at the Sunshine home yesterday.

Me: How do you think Luna got that bump on her back to begin with? 

Marty (not looking up from what he's doing): It's a snake bite. 

Me: Doc P never mentioned it being a snake bite!!??? 

Marty (shrugging and ignoring my growing hysterics): Our animals used to get bit by snakes and would have lumps like that. They'd usually go down on their own. Sometimes they didn't if it was especially bad.

Me: Wait? Does that mean there's a snake in our yard? A poisonous snake? 

Marty (now completely zen and totally not the least bit bothered by my shrieking): No, but there probably was one at some point this summer. It probably came under the fence. (From the woods behind our house).  

(Young adults backing out of the room. Buck mouthing to Polly, "Take me with you on your date with Sherman tonight. Please!!!")

Me: You need to put out more snake away. First thing tomorrow morning. 

Marty: It's going to be 40 degrees tomorrow. The snakes are hibernating. 

Anyway, I don't care what the temperature, Marty is throwing more of that stuff down. He can sprinkle it all over the neighborhood for all I care. 

One of Luna's wounds.
We call this one, "Ode to Locutus of Borg."