During my time in Texarkana, I'd successfully avoided the Church of Christ's Tuesday morning's lady's Bible class. Until Yesterday. I know my time here is almost over and I wanted to see if maybe, I'd missed out on something.
I had and I hadn't.
I knew 99 percent of the attendants by name. One hundred percent of those around me were positive and happy, gracious women. I love that about these people. They are truly beacons of light and joys to be around.
This week happened to be Deb's turn to lead the class. She started by commenting that I showed up for the first time (because she made me) and knew the Scripture better than most everyone there. She isn't wrong, but I didn't want to show anyone up. Instead, I announced I was only there because Deb said I had to go and today I planned on practicing my best, "Southern Talk." You know, "Oh my!" "My word!" "Dear me!" "Heavens."*
I should also like to point out that today's topic was Second Timothy Chapter 2, which is the best example of the pious Catholics walking among us who like to declare that proclaiming their personal petty martyrdom for the rest of us to relish in is akin to holiness (it isn't). I promise, a lot of my good story fodder comes from those who take Second Timothy Chapter 2 out of context. But that wasn't the audience for me to share this publicly.
And to be fair, that's not what the rest of the ladies got out of today's class anyway.
Here's where it got interesting. I was naïve in thinking that a one hour Bible class ended after one hour. Oh no! That's the warm-up. The Bible class is the gateway drug to fellowship. In this case, all 13 of us heading off to a leisurely lunch. I tried backing out of it (shooting eye daggers at Deb for neglecting this tid-bit, though come to think of it, "If two or more Church of Christ members are gathered, there is food."**). However, fun Corona Suzy nudged me to the restaurant and sweet (non-Corona) Sharon and I bonded over our hatred of mayonnaise and eggs, so I had to make a showing.
Unfortunately, lunch lasted another two hours and I was ready to kill someone. As an introvert whose day was rearranged, it was best to smile and keep to Southern Talk. Thoughts of putting my pious Catholic suffering into practice came back as I suffocated under the love and fellowship of these great ladies. But honestly, THREE HOURS??? Out of my home! Out of my sweat pants! Away from my garden! This is hell on an introvert, whose biggest plans for the day included working on edits and petting the dog.
Will I go back? I don't know. There's only a handful of classes before they break for the summer and I doubt I will be here come fall. However, in the event I ever decide to attend another Bible class, I'll be prepared for it to take all day.
*"Bless your heart," that old reliable saying, would have been taken out of context in this situation.
**Corona Gail says this often enough there's no disputing it.
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