Bad MLS Pictures, Swamp Edition

It is late at night and I can't sleep. Marty's interviews are going swimmingly. Will he find a job 3,000 miles away? I have no idea. But, in the event he does, I looked at a few homes for rent that might be a good fit. At the risk of offending home hunters everywhere, if you have seen one, you have seen them all. It is for that reason, I believe the agents who listed these properties didn't have much to work with.

This is the primary photo on this listing. Yep. The house comes with paint buckets. 

This gem includes a door. 

This house has an updated master bath. This isn't the master bath. 

Here is the master bath. We, at the Sunshine home, scratched our heads looking at the shower curtain rod that extends across the potty. I live with a teenage boy. The jokes were flying. 

This house comes with chemicals located right next to the gas hot water heater. Did I ever tell you about my first listing? The garage caught fire when the chemicals ignited the gas hot water heater. 

This house includes a potty. Squee! 

This home has walls! Double squee! 

And who wouldn't want to see the backside of a garage door as the primary photo? Wouldn't that just pique your curiosity to click on the listing? 

And finally, Polly asked what the rest of us were thinking.

Do the dudes in the picture come with the home? 

The 2019 Broker Lunch

I was only allergic to half
of the menu items. 

I went to the annual Broker Lunch last week. It was a nice distraction from Marty's interview, which was scheduled for that exact time. Last year I went with El Jefe*, who is a fun person, but doesn't exactly have the social graces one might look for in a dining accomplice at a professional function. I didn't make that mistake again.

This year, a friend and fellow broker and I carpooled. I haven't introduced my blog readers to my Broker friend, Kaye. But I adore her. I strive daily to be half as wonderful as her--which I fail miserably at. I hope some day to be half as worthy as simply a human. Kaye lives close by and we meet once a week for tea, or if the weather is permitting, a walk. The world needs more people like Kaye.

No, the world needs all people to be like Kaye.

On my other side, was another delight, Beth. I have met Beth a few times through Jane of all people. Beth is also a designated broker. Between the two of them, and others at our table, great conversation ensued. I even felt social and slightly less introverted.

Anyway, back to the lunch. The food was adequate. The first speaker was dynamic and interesting. He talked about cyber security. By the way, please don't use the same password for everything. And Dropbox is easily hacked. And change your password on a regular basis. Small businesses are the leading victims of cyber hacking and ransom ware. Good stuff, but scary.

The Association President explaining,
"Copper State Association" isn't
catchy enough.

We had another speaker who was the legal council from the Arizona Association of Realtors. Usually I like hearing the lawyers speak. However, she wasn't very well informed and talked to us brokers about matters that weren't relevant. That was disappointing.

At the end, we were give some exciting-to-someone news. We have a new name for our Realtor Association! We will be called--and I am not making this up--the, "West South East Valley Association of Realtors". WSEAR for short.

There had been a vote weeks back. I voted for "Copper State Realtor Association," which was one of the choices on the ballot. I must have been in the minority, because apparently most found West South East Valley Association of Realtors to be a more exciting name.


*In case you are interested, here is last year's lunch post. https://adventureswithrealestate.blogspot.com/2018/08/lunch-with-el-jefe.html

Seller's Inspection Respsonse

Yesterday I met the seller and her handyman at her cute little condo to go over the extensive list of disapproved items the buyer wants fixed. Half the stuff on the buyer's list falls into the, "do the buyers not understand this is a seller's market?" Seriously. My clients are not replacing the bathroom vanity because it is ugly. Nor are they hiring a licensed plumber to (and I am not making this up), "caulk and grout the shower." And (I am not making this up either) they aren't replacing a functioning and fully intact kitchen window.

When I wrote up the reply, I did have a bit of fun stating the seller was not responsible for another unit's leaking pipe and therefore could not fix it. Nor could the seller treat for termites when the buyer did not provide evidence of termites. Hell has no wrath like a girl with a public relations background who can write with big words.

My favorite items included explaining to the buyer that the seller could not duplicate an issue with "inoperable" the living room window (I opened it without a problem). Nor could they duplicate an issue with "inoperable" closet doors. They opened. They closed. I am not sure what else they are supposed to do.

And finally, I have no idea what is wrong with the brand new exhaust fan in the bathroom. But it worked fine when we turned it on.

"Is it supposed to do anything else?" my client asked the handyman. "I don't think so." He replied. "Maybe a light show?" I asked. "I don't have the box anymore, but I can contact the manufacturer," he answered. He might have been serious. After all, he is pretty helpful.

We are returning our list back to the buyer's agent. I am curious what will happen. However, if it is going to fall out of escrow, I would prefer it happen before the weekend so we can get it back on the market.

Pro Tip

Just a reminder folks, the "A" in Zillow stands for "Accuracy."

List of Repairs

We received our repair requests from the buyer of the cute little condo. They included such directives as:

"Have licensed plumber caulk bathroom tub," and "label main shut-off valve," which is outside and obviously a shut-off valve. But hey! I have a label maker if my sellers need to borrow it.

Then there's my favorite: "Add screw to door hinge."

And my other favorite: "Treat for termites" even though there is no evidence of termites and the the buyer did not pay to have a termite inspection performed. So is the seller supposed to infest the property with termites so they can then treat it?

And let's not forget their request to have another unit's leaking pipe fixed. Seems to me, they might have scored some good neighbor points by knocking on the door and alerting the owner of the leaking pipe. But, what do I know.

There were a boatload more repairs along these lines too. None of them are huge. But the list is super-duper long.

However, the house is as-is. The contract says so.

The agent and I discussed what "as is" meant, and she swears the contract doesn't say the buyer is purchasing in as-is condition. I suggested she might want to read the contract again, though I said so in a nicer way. I really do like her.

Curious as to why she would give me such an extensive laundry list of mostly petty items, I looked her up. She has done six sales since 2015. So, I'm guessing she doesn't have a lot of experience. I may be guessing about her experience but I am certain she doesn't know what is in the Arizona purchase contract.

My clients are going to have a minor coronary when they see this list. Their first response will be to walk away. I can't say I blame them. I have a call into their handyman, asking for quotes as well. I would rather go in proactive than reactive. It is going to take some convincing for my sellers to be cooperative when they see this petty list.

Tour Results

The tour last week was loads of fun. Overall, there were about 15 of us, caravaning along. In our vehicle, there were 5 of us, crammed into someone's SUV, driving around Tempe, discussing the market and other real estate topics that would make the average person's eyes glaze over. But we loved it.

Pro tip: If you aren't the driver on these tours, always volunteer to be the navigator, so you get the other front seat.

I navigated us to homes ranging from a half acre, $649,000 property with a new, but but buckling, roof to my cute little condo. At each property, the agent said a few words and asked for specific feedback.

The agents were fun, which alwasy helps. We even had the know-it-all hot-shot sales guy who told us more than once how he is a know-it-all hot-shot. He was very pleasant but was floored when I mentioned (in a loving way) that a $649,000 home should come with a landscaped front yard and a new roof that isn't buckling. But, that's just me.

We saw a brownstone in the heart of downtown Tempe that, if anywhere else, would have been a darling property. However, this one backed up to some seriously scary apartments. The owner has had this house for a year and made $40,000 profit as an Air BNB. Why is she selling? I am not sure. The agent kept saying it "should" appeal to college professors. Possibly. But most college professors don't want to live in student housing overlooking the slums.

We also saw a few just average homes. All were quirky and cute. One house had been rebuilt from the studs up, only because it caught fire two years ago. There was a tri-level that might, possibly be more outdated than my tri-level (Mr. Know-it-all hot-shot kept telling the listing agent "nobody in their right minds would ever live in a tri-level."). Two properties backed major roads. Most were updated to the hilt. One was not, and had that 1990's faux paint on the walls--a bargain at $529,000! All of these agents asked for specific feedback ("If you would all mention that my client needs to paint the turquoise faux painted wall... that'd be great!").

The last stop on the tour was my cute little condo. It was the only property under $350,000 on the entire tour. I didn't want any particular feedback. I just wanted exposure. However, there was one major comment everyone had: the place has a peculiar smell. I suspect it was from the carpet cleaner last week, combined with the Lysol lavender scent I frantically sprayed earlier that day. But, I don't need to mention it to my sellers at this time. Why? Because while we were at my condo, sipping our cold bottled water I brought over earlier that day, I got a full price offer!

Another Interview

This would be my baseball choices.

Since my last post, Marty has another job interview scheduled. This one is with a place where he went through three interviews last year, only to come in second. They picked someone locally. The same folks from last year remembered him and want to talk to him again.

The interview is scheduled for next week. The job is in the swamp somewhere, but not the same location as this week's set of interviews. So far I have done nothing to research this city, partially because I have done lots of research before. And partially because I am done getting caught up in everything. I know what I need to know. The Trader Joe's in the Southern part of the city. There are two Costcos.

Also of importance, the closest MLB team is an American League team (sigh), a little less than two hours away. There is another MLB team--a National League team--a little more than two hours away in a different direction. But there is a reason they only have something like 18 fans (one of which, coincidentally, is my brother). I may end up giving up baseball if Marty gets a job in this town.

This new company doesn't pay as well as the other place he is interviewing, but has a few major advantages that are hard to beat. I think we would all prefer this one come out on top between the two. If there has to be a winner at all.

The entire experience is making my head swim and my stomach lurch. Most likely nothing will come of it. After all, they didn't want him after three interviews last time, right??

I don't mind moving and starting a new adventure. I really don't. I do mind the waiting and wondering.