An Open Letter to Luna

Dear Luna, 

We Think She's Cute. Normally.

I'm so sorry I took away your toy. I am aware you are lonely and want to play, play, play with every single critter you find. Trust me I KNOW. 

However, you have plenty of toys. Your blue bone is a huge hit! Remember how you earned it on your last day of obedience training? You still proudly carry that thing around. 

And let's talk about all the rubber chickens, pigs and other toys you have successfully worked the squeakers out of. And speaking of squeakers, I am 100 percent sure there isn't an indestructible toy you can't destroy. Not because you are vicious and cruel, but because you are so excited. To you, the squeakers are like the Tootsie Roll center in a Tootsie Pop. Why lick when you can chomp?  

Post-Turtle Letdown
Luna, refusing to
look at me,
but her tail is wagging. 

All that said, I'm afraid we have to have a few boundaries around your toys. I know this wasn't a problem in Arizona. Critters stayed in the desert, leaving you to bark at Paul's dogs or your pal, Lucy the Boston Terrier next door. But here, we must learn to leave the critters alone. Some of them may bite back.

Now then, you have been pouting for the past hour, ever since I set that turtle free. That's fine. You aren't the first melodramatic female I've parented. In fact, if you want to amp it up, talk to Polly. I'm sure she can give you a few thespian lessons from her pre-teen days. 

Turtle ProTip:
Stay out of the back yard. 

No matter how much you cry, avoid my eye or walk around dejected, the turtle is gone. Hopefully he has left my front yard and is walking down Arizona Avenue towards the woods. It would even be better if he warned all his friends to stay out of our yard as well. I'm kind of tired of the critter parade. 

Affectionately, 

Your Favorite Person (again, I'm sure).