Frantic-ish

Bonus Dad called. He will be arriving next Monday to do life with me for the week. I can't wait!!!! I don't have anything concrete planned, other than I'm intending on dragging him to Washington Arkansas to look around a colonial town I want to check out. Plus, there is the Community Garden Coalition Volunteer Days next week. It only lasts two hours each morning, but I'd like to go because I need Master Gardener hours. 

But that's next week's fun. 

This week, I'm finishing my editing. And let me tell you, line editing of 240ish pages takes a long time. I've done four chapters in three days. It isn't just looking, line by line, but I have the audio on as well, listening to every sentence. Over and over and over and over again. 

I'd like to finish this project before Bonus Dad arrives, so that I can send this off to beta readers. I begged off on a Corona pool party Tuesday because I wanted to work on this. However, I kept the rest of my social commitments for the week (same folks, different event). Now off to work on another chapter. 

An Open Letter to Luna

Dear Luna, 

We Think She's Cute. Normally.

I'm so sorry I took away your toy. I am aware you are lonely and want to play, play, play with every single critter you find. Trust me I KNOW. 

However, you have plenty of toys. Your blue bone is a huge hit! Remember how you earned it on your last day of obedience training? You still proudly carry that thing around. 

And let's talk about all the rubber chickens, pigs and other toys you have successfully worked the squeakers out of. And speaking of squeakers, I am 100 percent sure there isn't an indestructible toy you can't destroy. Not because you are vicious and cruel, but because you are so excited. To you, the squeakers are like the Tootsie Roll center in a Tootsie Pop. Why lick when you can chomp?  

Post-Turtle Letdown
Luna, refusing to
look at me,
but her tail is wagging. 

All that said, I'm afraid we have to have a few boundaries around your toys. I know this wasn't a problem in Arizona. Critters stayed in the desert, leaving you to bark at Paul's dogs or your pal, Lucy the Boston Terrier next door. But here, we must learn to leave the critters alone. Some of them may bite back.

Now then, you have been pouting for the past hour, ever since I set that turtle free. That's fine. You aren't the first melodramatic female I've parented. In fact, if you want to amp it up, talk to Polly. I'm sure she can give you a few thespian lessons from her pre-teen days. 

Turtle ProTip:
Stay out of the back yard. 

No matter how much you cry, avoid my eye or walk around dejected, the turtle is gone. Hopefully he has left my front yard and is walking down Arizona Avenue towards the woods. It would even be better if he warned all his friends to stay out of our yard as well. I'm kind of tired of the critter parade. 

Affectionately, 

Your Favorite Person (again, I'm sure). 

Cracker Barrel

It appears Polly has gotten a job at Cracker Barrel, however nothing has happened about this. There has been no "come in for an orientation." No "here is your apron." And more specifically, no start date. 

I've asked my questions. Marty has asked his. Buckaroo has made his brotherly comments, but Polly is standing firm: She has a job at Cracker Barrel. 

At this point, I think she has an imaginary job. Hopefully it pays better than the imaginary job singing in her bedroom. 

Also, in the interest of fun videos, I went down the rabbit hole and found this parody one about Cracker Barrel. Anyone who has eaten there disagree? 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_lMzC2uTDQ

How to Cook Like a Southerner

I've tried my best to describe the horror that is "Southern Food." This video does a much better job explaining than I ever could. In just a few minutes, this parody accurately depicts everything I've attempted to convey--including salads. I just don't get the South's idea of a salad. 

To give you an idea of how jaded I am about Southern food, apples and peanut butter used to be my go-to food. Now, I want my apples straight-up. Peanut butter feels too heavy and at this point, is now too closely related to gravy in my book. 

Anyway, enjoy. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=as37bKQPxLk

On the Next Door App Today

 "Hey ya'll. Anyone missing their peacock?" 

The Lunch Bunch

Most every Thursday, I meet up with the Thursday Lunch Bunch at whatever restaurant they are congregating at for the week. Sometimes I order lunch. Sometimes I just order an iced tea. I'm always there for the laughter and conversation. The Venn diagram for this group would heavily cross over for the Church of Christ members/Deb's Prayer Group/Coronas--with the Coronas being an exclusive subset. I very much enjoy their company. And, for the most part, I think they enjoy mine. 

It was fun was to watch Suzy, Ruthie, Cindy, Sharry, Bernice and a few others with their phones out planning for their trip to Mexico next spring. None of them (other than Ruthie) had ever traveled outside the country. I know for a fact Suzie and Bernice have never flown on an airplane before. Gail, Deb and I were at the other end of the table. I was throwing out suggestions of Known Traveler/Global Entry Numbers and making sure they have a passport. 

Gail and Deb who are world-wide travelers and much more seasoned than I am (I've been to Canada three times and Mexico once), were giving even more in-depth suggestions. The group of novice travelers were looking at us like we'd given them a pop quiz. I finally suggested to Deb she have a get-together at her house where she could just prep them all at once. I think that's happening next week. 

Of note, Suzy asked me the other day what it is like to fly on an airplane. As a nervous flyer, I tried to be as non-dramatic as possible. Get on the plane, buckle your seatbelt and put in your headphones. Normally, I'd tell her to order an adult drink, but the Church of Christ girls don't publicly drink in front of each other. However, perhaps she will make an exception. This trip is next February and she's already nervous. 

All of this was in good fun. I've been invited to Mexico as well. However, I don't have much desire to go. Plus, I'm not sure I could swing it financially right now. Perhaps after the kids are through with college. I did offer to drive the girls to the airport when the time comes. 

Also of note, Deb got everyone's attention and announced to the group she had just read a book by a "talented new author" everyone should read. When she made this announcement I had no idea she was referring to me. Then she pointed to me. I darn near died. I had let Deb beta read my book (coming out this fall next spring) a few weeks ago. 

Also of note, I've been told I'm the only Catholic they know, which I think is funny. I mean, it isn't like Catholics are hiding under rocks. However, it seems I'm taking the stigma out of being Catholic in their eyes because--according to Janice, it turns out I'm "normal."  

Update on the Extra Room

There is no update. 

Marty and I both grew up in homes much smaller than what I live in now. My kids don't mind the size of our house. Actually, Marty and I don't either. It is easy to clean and it serves our needs. I want one more room, but I don't want a tacky addition slapped on to my house because I feel desperate. Somewhere there's a balance. 

Last winter we hired an architect to draft us plans to add on to our home. He gave us preliminaries last March. And then disappeared. I haven't even paid the guy. However, I've called him. My general rule is I don't beg vendors to take my money. If the architect isn't calling me back, that's on him. It also screams volumes of what I can expect if I were to continue this business relationship with him. So, he's got my voice mails, phone number and address when he decides he wants his money.

A couple of months ago, Marty and I went to the home and garden show and met a few local remodelers/builders. I wasn't impressed with them anyway. Perhaps that's because I feel jaded with the Texarkana trades. They all seem allergic to work. I have visions of once I get my plans drawn up having some carpenter pour the foundation for my extra room and then go on a six week bender. Yeah... no. 

We may revisit this at a later date. Right now, no thank you.