An Open Letter to Luna

Dear Luna, 

We Think She's Cute. Normally.

I'm so sorry I took away your toy. I am aware you are lonely and want to play, play, play with every single critter you find. Trust me I KNOW. 

However, you have plenty of toys. Your blue bone is a huge hit! Remember how you earned it on your last day of obedience training? You still proudly carry that thing around. 

And let's talk about all the rubber chickens, pigs and other toys you have successfully worked the squeakers out of. And speaking of squeakers, I am 100 percent sure there isn't an indestructible toy you can't destroy. Not because you are vicious and cruel, but because you are so excited. To you, the squeakers are like the Tootsie Roll center in a Tootsie Pop. Why lick when you can chomp?  

Post-Turtle Letdown
Luna, refusing to
look at me,
but her tail is wagging. 

All that said, I'm afraid we have to have a few boundaries around your toys. I know this wasn't a problem in Arizona. Critters stayed in the desert, leaving you to bark at Paul's dogs or your pal, Lucy the Boston Terrier next door. But here, we must learn to leave the critters alone. Some of them may bite back.

Now then, you have been pouting for the past hour, ever since I set that turtle free. That's fine. You aren't the first melodramatic female I've parented. In fact, if you want to amp it up, talk to Polly. I'm sure she can give you a few thespian lessons from her pre-teen days. 

Turtle ProTip:
Stay out of the back yard. 

No matter how much you cry, avoid my eye or walk around dejected, the turtle is gone. Hopefully he has left my front yard and is walking down Arizona Avenue towards the woods. It would even be better if he warned all his friends to stay out of our yard as well. I'm kind of tired of the critter parade. 

Affectionately, 

Your Favorite Person (again, I'm sure). 

Cracker Barrel

It appears Polly has gotten a job at Cracker Barrel, however nothing has happened about this. There has been no "come in for an orientation." No "here is your apron." And more specifically, no start date. 

I've asked my questions. Marty has asked his. Buckaroo has made his brotherly comments, but Polly is standing firm: She has a job at Cracker Barrel. 

At this point, I think she has an imaginary job. Hopefully it pays better than the imaginary job singing in her bedroom. 

Also, in the interest of fun videos, I went down the rabbit hole and found this parody one about Cracker Barrel. Anyone who has eaten there disagree? 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_lMzC2uTDQ

How to Cook Like a Southerner

I've tried my best to describe the horror that is "Southern Food." This video does a much better job explaining than I ever could. In just a few minutes, this parody accurately depicts everything I've attempted to convey--including salads. I just don't get the South's idea of a salad. 

To give you an idea of how jaded I am about Southern food, apples and peanut butter used to be my go-to food. Now, I want my apples straight-up. Peanut butter feels too heavy and at this point, is now too closely related to gravy in my book. 

Anyway, enjoy. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=as37bKQPxLk

On the Next Door App Today

 "Hey ya'll. Anyone missing their peacock?" 

The Lunch Bunch

Most every Thursday, I meet up with the Thursday Lunch Bunch at whatever restaurant they are congregating at for the week. Sometimes I order lunch. Sometimes I just order an iced tea. I'm always there for the laughter and conversation. The Venn diagram for this group would heavily cross over for the Church of Christ members/Deb's Prayer Group/Coronas--with the Coronas being an exclusive subset. I very much enjoy their company. And, for the most part, I think they enjoy mine. 

It was fun was to watch Suzy, Ruthie, Cindy, Sharry, Bernice and a few others with their phones out planning for their trip to Mexico next spring. None of them (other than Ruthie) had ever traveled outside the country. I know for a fact Suzie and Bernice have never flown on an airplane before. Gail, Deb and I were at the other end of the table. I was throwing out suggestions of Known Traveler/Global Entry Numbers and making sure they have a passport. 

Gail and Deb who are world-wide travelers and much more seasoned than I am (I've been to Canada three times and Mexico once), were giving even more in-depth suggestions. The group of novice travelers were looking at us like we'd given them a pop quiz. I finally suggested to Deb she have a get-together at her house where she could just prep them all at once. I think that's happening next week. 

Of note, Suzy asked me the other day what it is like to fly on an airplane. As a nervous flyer, I tried to be as non-dramatic as possible. Get on the plane, buckle your seatbelt and put in your headphones. Normally, I'd tell her to order an adult drink, but the Church of Christ girls don't publicly drink in front of each other. However, perhaps she will make an exception. This trip is next February and she's already nervous. 

All of this was in good fun. I've been invited to Mexico as well. However, I don't have much desire to go. Plus, I'm not sure I could swing it financially right now. Perhaps after the kids are through with college. I did offer to drive the girls to the airport when the time comes. 

Also of note, Deb got everyone's attention and announced to the group she had just read a book by a "talented new author" everyone should read. When she made this announcement I had no idea she was referring to me. Then she pointed to me. I darn near died. I had let Deb beta read my book (coming out this fall next spring) a few weeks ago. 

Also of note, I've been told I'm the only Catholic they know, which I think is funny. I mean, it isn't like Catholics are hiding under rocks. However, it seems I'm taking the stigma out of being Catholic in their eyes because--according to Janice, it turns out I'm "normal."  

Update on the Extra Room

There is no update. 

Marty and I both grew up in homes much smaller than what I live in now. My kids don't mind the size of our house. Actually, Marty and I don't either. It is easy to clean and it serves our needs. I want one more room, but I don't want a tacky addition slapped on to my house because I feel desperate. Somewhere there's a balance. 

Last winter we hired an architect to draft us plans to add on to our home. He gave us preliminaries last March. And then disappeared. I haven't even paid the guy. However, I've called him. My general rule is I don't beg vendors to take my money. If the architect isn't calling me back, that's on him. It also screams volumes of what I can expect if I were to continue this business relationship with him. So, he's got my voice mails, phone number and address when he decides he wants his money.

A couple of months ago, Marty and I went to the home and garden show and met a few local remodelers/builders. I wasn't impressed with them anyway. Perhaps that's because I feel jaded with the Texarkana trades. They all seem allergic to work. I have visions of once I get my plans drawn up having some carpenter pour the foundation for my extra room and then go on a six week bender. Yeah... no. 

We may revisit this at a later date. Right now, no thank you.

Playing With Plants

I've been home since Saturday afternoon and have not recovered from my trip. I haven't done laundry, paid bills at all for the month of May or any number of household chores I usually handle. However, that hasn't stopped me from playing with plants. In fact, other than sleep--which hasn't been nearly as much as I want--that's about all I have done since I came back.

This was my Mother's Day present. Buckaroo put down these pavers for me so that I don't have to walk through the swampy muddy yard after the weekly rain to get to the garden. Why we didn't do this when we first moved in is a mystery. 

When I came home I found out the yellow squash plant took over 1/4 of this garden box. The yellow squash plant is that single huge plant in the far corner with leaves the size of bicycle tires. I had to move the zucchini and the pepper plants which were shaded under the yellow squash plant. 

That white stuff? Diatomaceous earth, spread out to keep the bugs from eating the leaves. Think of it like a natural pesticide.  

I also moved some of the pepper plants (I have several) to the potato patch. Actually, I thought this was a sweet potato plant until I did a bit of research. I vaguely recall burying one potato some time last summer just to "see what would happen."  Also in this particular garden bed are okra seeds because for some strange reason my husband thinks okra is wonderful. The seeds didn't sprout. Bummer. Hopefully Maybe they were eaten by the--I'm not making this up--rabbits, possums and moles. 

Though it may not look like it, I have six tomato plants in this bed. The two largest are more than five feet tall. so far the only plant giving me tomatoes is that teensy tiny one in the front of of this picture diatomaceous earth sprinkled on it. However, I have lots of flowers on the tomato plants.  

Protip: if you have flowering tomato plants, gently shake your plants to get the pollen in the flowers to fertilize. 

Protip 2: Once your tomato plants are at an acceptable maturity put a soda straw (or several depending upon the size) around the outside of the stalk to keep the hornworms off. 

This is Enid. I picked her up in Patagonia AZ two weeks ago on a road trip with Mrs. Meadows. She's hanging out in the onions with the intention of scaring the moles, rabbits and possums. 

Because I can't seem to play with enough plants at home, today I went to my community garden coalition meeting today at the health department where we planted marigolds and collard greens. Their garden is a few weeks behind mine. However, they have okra. If Marty wants any, he can go there and pick it himself. 

And finally, Suzy asked me a few weeks ago to help her start her garden. However, she was going on vacation and wouldn't be around to water it. Then I was going to Arizona. So, I planted some seedlings for her and put my SAD light on the patch of dirt in my kitchen, helping the plants grow until I got back. Tomorrow these cucumbers and yellow squash will be transplanted into her backyard garden.