Baggage

So, let me just say this for all you veterans of my blog ramblings. The very last vestige of the accidental business was laid to rest today. I didn't even know I could feel that level of relief.

Whew

Alpha Agents

Alpha Agents are just that, they thrive on having the upper hand. They want their clients to know that they are in control. They think they are taking charge. They say they are on top of their game. Ironically, they rarely are, but don't tell their ego.

Once in a while I run across one of these types and just roll my eyes. While the rest of us play for a win-win, they simply don't. My buyers don't expect to get everything they want, because what they really want is a house. The rest is truly gravy. My sellers know they may have to concede their expectations and they won't get Zillow's unrealistic the highest price they can imagine in order to move on with their life. Experience has taught me to give that expectation up front. Alpha agents don't. Their entire schick is, "I will get it done no matter what," and then gamble that everything will work in their favor. Many times "getting it done" comes at a higher cost than actually getting the house sold. But don't tell their ego that either.

Earlier in my real estate career, I used to be afraid of these yahoos. After all, they would say my name repeatedly as they made slightly unnerving comments. They would also use words and phrases such as, "I can't believe" and "obviously" and "reevaluate" and "I am shocked you don't realize," Alphas gaslight with snark like, "Mary, I can't believe how much you don't care about your clients? If you did, you would see things my way..." or "Mary, I think you need to go back and reevaluate your actions, maybe then you can see where you screwed up. I am shocked you don't realize, what you did. Obviously, if you did you would never have..." or (my favorite) "Mary, my clients are disappointed you didn't pay for the termite inspection like you said you would. So, are you going to live up to your word...?" (I never said I would pay for such thing, by the way.) It is as if Alphas are the utmost authority and everyone else simply should believe what they say, because noise comes out of their face.

Alphas were bullies in former jobs. Frankly, they still are. They tend to surround themselves with lackeys whose sole role is to feed the ego of the Alpha. And when they stop, the Alpha dismisses them with such drivel as, "Lackey, obviously you just don't want success as much as I do, otherwise you would have done..." and other passive-aggressive ugliness that is supposed to pass as coaching.

I had one Alpha Agent--the one who made a crack about the termite inspection--who, when I didn't kowtow to his crummy behavior, personally threatened me. Marty Sunshine insisted I get an Order of Protection, but I didn't want to give this jerk that much power. I figured he would go away when his buyers lost out on the house they wanted. He did go away, incidentally. He also sent me a half-apology via text message. "He hadn't been himself," he said. I would hate to see what "himself" really looked like.

Alphas no longer unnerve me. I see them for who they are. The easiest way to derail one is to just do my job correctly. I work for the client. That means I do what my client wants, not what I want. Clearly understanding my job makes my communication and intentions much more defined. I am clear what I do, and how I do it. And, if I get confused, I have a contract in place to remind me.

This past week, I had an Alpha Agent, tell me he wasn't happy. That's fine, I work for my client so the Alpha's happiness isn't important to me. My client's happiness is. I also pointed out in the contract where it said if my clients weren't happy with the dump home he was selling, they could back out. His sellers agreed to that too. Quoting the purchase contract just happens to be the second easiest way to derail an Alpha Agent.

A Thank You Goes A Long Way

Well, Dee and her Merry Band of Felons decided they weren't interested in a 1920, asbestos-filled home with broken floor joists, an advertised "new" AC that was actually new in the Carter administration and promised a plethora of other safety and health issues. I can't say I blame them. I wasn't interested from the first day I saw the joint.

The known member of one of Phoenix's most violent gangs lives directly across the street doesn't seem to concern them. Dee or one of her Felons--I don't remember who--told me the gangs in the area don't go after Christians. I suspect they may want to check their world history on that one. Perhaps the New Testament might be a starting point. There's a precedent. I promise.

They also feel feel the three-foot chain link fence around the perimeter provides a hypothetical aura of safety that I know I took advantage of when I parked my car in the front yard (note: I didn't feel safer). The home inspector and AC tech also parked inside the perimeter fence too, but I don't think it did anything for their comfort either. I just wish Dee and her Merry Band of Felons would start picking neighborhoods that are slightly more upscale (they can afford it). But that's not for me to judge.

The one major advantage Dee and her Merry Band of Felons have going for them is that they are nice people. They are respectful. They are considerate and kind. They recognize this is a job for me and not a hobby. They don't treat me like a tour guide. I appreciate that. I will go to bat for people like this any day of the week. Those are the kinds of clients who make me feel like my job has purpose.

Dopey Perhaps?

"I am not happy!" The selling agent wrote today when I told him that my buyers were backing out of the contract.

I came thisclose to saying, "Well, which dwarf are you then?"

Instead, I took the super-boring high road. Much less satisfying, but more professional. I replied, "Yea, I get it. I am not happy either."

A Little Too Close to Home

This woman has, thankfully, been found alive. She happens to be a friend of a friend.

These kinds of Silver Alerts scare me. It could be my father, father-in-law or bonus dad.

It would  have been Diamond Jim if his truck hadn't been taken away. In this case, this woman has been diagnosed with dementia. Incidentally, Beaumont California is 316 miles from where she was last seen.

Here is the story. (link)

Four Weeks to Go

I told Junior today every time I speak with his father at this point was just another chance for me to lose my license. Because, let's face it, if I had to go in front of a judge and explain that I knew there is a strong chance Diamond Jim has dementia but I let him sign legal documents anyway, how would I explain that?

Or, what if I had to go in front of a judge because I told Diamond Jim X, but he heard and specifically did Y and Y was the detriment, but it was my word against his? There are other scenarios too, but essentially it boiled down to me saying, I am not losing my license because Diamond Jim is going to do whatever he wants. Nor am I getting caught up in this crazy family business. So, you folks figure it out.

Does Diamond Jim know I am not speaking to him? Probably, he only called me once this weekend. Generally he calls me every 10 minutes, leaving messages every time, until I call him back. Junior told me I have every right to be furious for being made a fool of and deemed a liar. My friends don't do that. And yes, I understand Jim is ill. I totally get it. And I can't say that I am not hurt my friend of 15 years has chosen this path. But he is not so ill that he doesn't know when he is being an ass to get his way. I promise. The problem last Friday was that he breezed through everyone else who was on his side so it became my turn to be treated poorly.

Junior is supporting my stand that I will not deal with his father. For that matter, I am not dealing with Diamond Jim's sister either. Now I know all too well what I want and what I will get is very different. But being Diamond Jimless the last four days has been wonderful.

Memorial Day

WW2 Vet Charlie Schaefer is buried in here. Charlie went on to have a great life. He married and raised two kids. He worked for General Motors and helped engineer some of their cars. In addition, he created and patented the original artificial heart, which is at the Smithsonian. Charlie left us a few years ago and is now one of the chosen ones.

Please take a moment to think of those who paid the ultimate price for their sacrifice. We are in the Land of the Free because of them.