Sales 101

A Girl Can Dream

The concept of sales fascinates me. I bring this up because I recently had a discussion with Buckaroo about what he can do to get a job at the golf course when he is old enough to work. I have pointed out that in order to make this happen, he will want to look the part every time he goes to hit a bucket of balls. So, wear the collared shirt. Say hello. Be respectful. Essentially, walk the walk, talk the talk.

This is true in every aspect of life. Sales gurus (especially the real estate ones) point out how every time someone mentions real estate to me, I should take that as they are interested in purchasing or selling. Maybe not right away, but some time, some where. Most people actually start their real estate transaction about a year before they sign on the dotted line.

But real estate isn't the only sales vocation around. I have been paying closer attention to this lately and found a few times where perhaps a sales person might have had better success.

• There's the food server who doesn't fill up the drinks or fails to check in to see how one's meal is going. 
• There is the jewelry store owner in Malibu who told me what I am looking for in a sapphire and gold ring isn't a unicorn, but instead just tacky and "nobody" wants that. 
• There is the skin care sales girl (and I do mean "girl") on Rodeo Drive who walked up to me and said, "Can I ask you something? What do you do for those wrinkles under your eyes." (I forgot to chamber my "bless your heart." Dang! Always reload, folks!). 
• There's the loan officer who, after I sat four seats down from her last week at the Chicken Sandwiches with Perfect Strangers event, and did not talk to her ONCE, who sent me a friend request on Facebook. 
• There's the mechanic who barks at the customer because they didn't bring their car when they first heard the noise and "next time" they ought to pay attention.
• There's the handyman who doesn't read the visual cues and continues to rant to the homeowner about the shoddy workmanship of the house they are quoting on. 
• There's the driving school receptionist who answers with grunts or one word answers, if the caller is lucky, instead of actually explaining her employer's product and why one would want to hire them to teach a child to drive. 
• There's the tenant who wants a rental property but decides to insult the landlord's home with the "this is wrong," or "I don't like that over there and I need you to..." before the application is completed. Tenants, by the way, sell themselves to the landlord. But that's for another blog.

And the list goes on. 

It astounds me that car sales people get a bad rap when it is the customer who seeks them out. I am not agreeing to how a car dealership handles the entire buying process, but just the initial "hello, can I help you?" welcome. The sales team is just doing their job. They want to know if the client wants to browse by themselves or if they want assistance. If they are doing it right, they have listened to the customer and done what was asked of them.

Overall, everything one does is a function of sales in one way or another. I have personally missed a cue or two and realized later that person wanted to hire me to help them with a sale. That experience, coupled with many like the above list have hopefully made me better at what I do.

Fishing

I have a little bit of money to advertise with from the home sale I closed last month. As a bonus, I have a mortgage company who is also willing to pony up a few bucks to get the ball rolling. The advertising partnership comes with a few strings attached.

First, the buyers go to them for loans. No problem.

Second, we are looking for clients in a few very specific neighborhoods. Not a problem. I chose the neighborhoods, based on careful analysis and knowledge of the area.

Third, I have to commit to a year of advertising. That usually isn't a problem--or it hasn't been in the past. However, I can see unless something pans out very quickly, I will be out of luck, cash and credibility with the mortgage company who is giving me this sponsorship. Of course, that is the nature of the sales game. I know it. Right now I would much rather bet on a "sure thing" than fishing in a new pond. However, sometimes one has to look for a new fishing hole.

The Gift of Grief

Bonus Mom

Grief is a selfish emotion. It demands attention when it wants attention. It doesn't give warning, just showing up, generally at inopportune moments. Like a bad house guest, it overstays its welcome and leaves a wake of physical and emotional debris when it finally leaves, only to come back when one is most vulnerable.

Even after all these months, my heart aches for Bonus Mom. Lately I find myself weeping uncontrollably in the candy aisle at Wal-Mart for her. I compose mental e-mails to her while I am walking in the morning, forgetting she isn't around to read them. And right now, I am just sitting in my comfy chair as the tears wash over my face, wondering when the emotionally-driven grief-fog will lift and will I ever stop spontaneously crying? I miss her. Oh so, so, much. I wish she had been alive to celebrate my birthday with me this month. I wish she was here to see Polly's prom pictures. I wish I could call her to tell her Buckaroo got his driver's permit. I wish I could call and ask her a question about baking bread. I JUST WISH SHE WAS HERE.

This constant grief is a reminder of the fact she didn't have to love me. She chose to. She chose me. That is an amazing gift.

Chicken Sandwiches with Perfect Strangers

What a haul! Everything but the mouse pad I got. The travel agent provided the door prize. 

Maria, my sister-in-law, is one of those larger than life people who knows everyone. Walking around Los Angeles last week, she ran into folks who knew her, or knew mutual friends of theirs. It was slightly surreal. I mean, how many people live in the greater Los Angeles area? Maria isn't in show business, in fact she is currently (temporarily) disabled and isn't working at all. But she is getting out, handicapped or not.

I have always envied the Marias of the world for their boldness. People aren't scary critters to be avoided, at least to her. I, on the other hand, go into hyperventilation when faced with the realization I have two social events in a week. This week I have five of them, so you can only imagine what a delight I am right now.

Anyway, after a heart-to-heart with Maria, I confessed what had been bothering me. Ever since the accidental business closed and especially ever since Bonus Mom passed on, I have kept myself in a small bubble. I do well in small circles of like-minded folks who realize I am consumed with grief and have subsequently become socially frail. These fabulous friends don't expect too much from me. But there comes a point, especially because I SELL REAL ESTATE, where I kinda need to get out and stretch a teensy bit more and be slightly more sociable.

That's where Maria's challenge came in. Maria, bless her, doesn't gently nudge. For that matter, Maria doesn't gently anything. Maria demanded I get out and meet a few folks. I suggested a chess club--which, I thought was a perfectly reasonable idea, after all 1) it is chess 2) people don't tend to do much talking in a really great chess game and 3) I can still hold my own, even though I haven't played in a tournament in more than 30 years. Maria scoffed, "NO! Meet people who will talk to you!" she charged. I wasn't sure how I felt about it, but finally through Maria's loving bullying nudging, I set up to go to one of these lunch thingys. And then I prayed for an onset of a stomach flu.

Unfortunately, Fate did not give me the stomach flu. Fate wasn't even kind enough to provide me indigestion. And my final excuse of the restaurant being full of food I was allergic to, didn't even pan out. Damn. It was a sandwich joint.

I had a nice time by the way. I managed to say and handle all sorts of pleasantries. I talked to Mark, Merri, Mary, Erica, Kyle, Neil, Karen, Steve and Creepy Lloyd who hit on me the entire time. I exchanged business cards with folks. There were people from many different vocations--even a stand-up comic whose name I recognized but couldn't tell you anything about his show. (Maria might know him for all I know.)  I was one of a few real estate agents, but the only designated broker--ha! (to be fair I wasn't there to look for clients, just interact with humans). I even laughed and told people about Maria and how she demanded I eat lunch with them that day. They all seemed to enjoy my company as much as I enjoyed theirs. I might even go to the next if it isn't at a seafood restaurant. And, I won the door prize and now Buckaroo has a mouse pad. But best of all, I expanded my bubble just a little bit more and found out it didn't kill me.

Just a Teensy Low-Maintenance Client

There are those (my sister-in-law--Maria, Jane, Sarah my marketing rep, and many others) who feel I am not "networking" enough. I am not "getting out there" and whatever other obnoxious phrases are used for those who are supposed to be drumming up business but instead are choosing to have quiet existence instead.

I am not drumming up business. I am slightly stagnant at this moment and business is kinda trickling in. If trickle is to describe almost dried up and not moving. Of course, the way to bring in new business is to move and shake, meet folks and--from what I can tell from the likes of all the sales gurus--be as obnoxious as possible, shoving my business card into the faces of the masses, always letting people know I sell real estate and they should call me.

I just can't.

Ever.

In truth, even if I had stayed with El Jefe, I would be in this same position. There are personal matters going on in my life that have taken a front seat to working. My family needs me right now more than I need vacation money. That may change in an instant, and I am certainly not turning down new clients. But I would prefer they were a low maintenance client at this moment.

I have done nothing real estate related in the past several weeks. There were fun distractions and not so fun ones. I am still distracted. But, I would like to see what I am doing be more than a hobby with malpractice insurance. Therefore, this week I hired Scott the Graphic Artist to conjure up some postcards for me. He is also working on my newsletter--or he will be when I figure out what I want to say. Sarah my marketing rep is sending me some things to review.

Also, only because Maria SWEARS it is in my best interests (Maria, by the way, is a natural sales dynamo, plus she is from New York City and that makes her bigger than life itself anyway), I am going to do a teensy bit of networking next week. I am not sure how I feel about that last one. It requires me to eat lunch with strangers. Actually, I know exactly how I feel about that last one. My social anxiety is off the charts. But perhaps just one of these activities will bring me a client. Because I only need one right now.

Bless His Heart, He Just Couldn't Help Himself

So taxes are finally done. Unfortunately, we had to hire a forensic CPA to dissect last year's taxes Diamond Jim handled. The Forensic CPA said at some point last week, "I am having some roadblocks with accuracy", referring to last year's taxes. Wonderful. However, those returns are now fixed and amended too.

Diamond Jim knows nothing of the headache he caused. The last time I spoke with him he asked how the (former) accidental business was going lately. And by the way, did I have any plans of going there soon?

What I found interesting about the new CPA was how clueless bold he turned out to be. When I said that my 2018 and beyond's taxes would be so much simpler he looked confused. Finally he said with the utmost sincerity and with the tone and inflection of a true right-brained accountant, "You aren't going to buy any more rentals?"

The Listing That Never Was

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine asked me to list her rental home. There were a few caveats:

First, there are tenants in the home. The tenants have the right to quiet enjoyment, which means they have free reign of the home and only have to be marginally accommodating, per the lease. Prior to a showing the tenants don't have to clean, keep up the yard or cooperate in any way, other than to let me and potential clients in after a reasonable amount of notice is given. By the way, "a reasonable amount of notice" really means 2 days, but if the tenants are only available to accommodate between 5:56 a.m. and 5:57 a.m. on the third Tuesday of the month, it is what it is.

In addition, passive aggressive tenants can follow potential buyers around and unload as much hyperbolic truth as they desire at the potential buyers. "Yea, the owner said they would fix the toilet three years ago, but it really wasn't fixed very well." or "The owner is too cheap to do real repairs." or "I asked the owner to add a third garage bay so they did, but didn't get it permitted." Oddly enough, tenants just consider this friendly banter and aren't really thinking they are sabotaging their landlord's attempt to get a home sold.

Second the owners, partially out of loyalty and partly out of the need for funds, wanted to allow their long-term tenants to stay and only wanted to sell the home to an investor. That's all well and good, but that may not be the most reasonable solution. The owners could get much more money if they kicked the tenants out (their lease is up in May) and spiffed up the place a bit. However, that would mean nobody was making the mortgage payment for a few months. The owners didn't really like that scenario. So, the tenants could stay and I could sell the home to some other sucker landlord.

Third, the owners were in a situation where they might or might not break even. My clients were willing to pay me to handle the sale but no other agent could be involved, so they didn't have to pay more of a commission than necessary. In other words, the home wasn't going on the Multiple Listing Service--which attaches to every real estate Web site in the world. Instead, the owners hired me to just find someone through smoke signals and Craigslist. The tenants also refusing to have the address posted on social media and refusing to have my sign in the yard only added to this nightmare scenario.

Truthfully, I lived this headache more times than I want to admit. I totally understand my client's conflicted nature. Good tenants who pay are hard to come by. Empty homes come with liabilities. In the end, my folks cancelled the listing before I had a chance to spend a few hundred on advertising (I was in the process). Sometimes it is better to hold on to what we have and wait for the right opportunity to present itself. But, even I could see this wasn't the right time.

The Mental Vacation

Work is kinda-sorta in a lull. I have a new listing. More on that later. My client buying the commercial building is still buying a commercial building. This one isn't in a too scary neighborhood. More on that sometime too.

Polly. Did I mention there was lots of eating? 

Since Easter I have been on a mental vacation. Oh... it has been nice. This past weekend was party central at the Sunshine home. My brother and his wife from California came to visit. So, our family (brothers, wives, niece, nephews and my 80 year old father) played, laughed and ate more than we should have. I am still giggling--except when I look at the big mess in my home that is still left for me to clean. Mr. Reader Number Two--my bonus dad--also stopped by Saturday. He was welcomed by all. After all, he was one of the family.

This coming week I have an all day real estate class. Buckaroo has golf. He might get his driver's permit. He hasn't decided. Polly has prom. I won't be here for that, which saddens me. Jane however, is coming over to help her bling up (Polly's aunts--my sister-in-laws--also gave her fashion, hair and make up advice this past weekend to prepare her). Thank goodness for Aunties, and Jane, the Bonus Auntie.

Buckaroo and Brother #1 wrestling.
Yes, those are bunny ears. 

I will be in California this coming weekend playing once again with my brother and his wife. My sister-in-law is promising me I won't have to go to a theme park. I don't think I have been to California in the past 25 years without stepping foot in a theme park. We may end up on the beach flying kites. Also, sis-in-law is telling me we will be going to Dodger Stadium but I am not allowed to cheer too loudly for the Diamondbacks during the game.

This mental vacation time ends next week and at that time I need to be back to work. Being still is a nice break, but I get bored if I do it too long.

Anyone Else Watch "Emergency" Back in the Day?

Or "Backdraft"?

"Towering Inferno" perhaps?

Footage of 9/11?

I just registered Buckaroo for the local high school's Fire Academy program. It is a two year program that gives him EMT and fire fighter certifications when he finishes. I am proud of him for wanting to do this. But the Mom side of me wants to hold him just a bit tighter and a lot longer.

I also don't want to deal with the public school system once again. But, that is for another blog.

On another note, when we toured the program today there was a shameless hussy teen girl who was checking out Buckaroo. I mentioned it to him and he replied, "Was she the blond on the left towards the back?"

Yes. Yes she was. Sigh.

Out Like a Lamb

Picture from our hike

Oh yes, there is real estate stuff going on but let's take a moment to stop and smell the cactus blooms.

With half of the family working during the week, me working weekends, golf Saturdays, singing/sound engineering Church obligations Sunday and a whole litany of other teenager things in our life, the Sunshine family is hardly ever all in the same place at the same time.

This past week, both Polly and Marty took last Friday and today off so we could be a family. Originally we were going to head up to Flagstaff for the weekend. That turned into a three week discussion which morphed into errand running on Friday and a nearby hike on Saturday. Our hike turned into a photography contest where the winner got to pick the place we would go to get dessert, which nobody ended up eating anyway. Sunday we hung out at home where Polly and I watched a Hallmark Channel predictable movie and then as a family we saw the three-hour Eagles' documentary (on Netflix if one is looking for it. By the way, it was awesome).

I like bridges

There was some baseball watching in there. There were some jigsaw puzzle making. There were video games for those who play such things. There was some drawing and cooking and lots of other playing. I made my homemade fertilizer for the veggie garden. And, I weeded the garden, pruned the tomato, eggplant and pepper plants and then optimistically planted this year's crop of seeds that might turn into something wonderful. Maybe.

All in all, the downtime was nice. It made us all realize we just don't get a lot of it as a family or even individually. My babies are growing up and getting lives. I am not ready to let this time go.

Someone has a warped sense of humor (Marty took the picture. I refused to get too close to it).