Civility and Silliness

I am part of a closed Facebook group only for Arizona real estate agents. Yesterday, after Governor Ducey said the State was now closed except for "essential" businesses, a conversation ensured. Most of the chat was surrounded around whether or not we could continue working. The answer is, probably not, but it wasn't definitive. I am sure we will find out soon.

However, there were several--and I mean, I think half of the real estate agents in the State of Arizona--had to make a comment or two about politics. Then others had to chime in. And then some fools had to wish illness upon their fellow humans because they don't like our current president, because that's useful.

Obviously there are too many children practicing real estate these days.

Attention You Three

Just a quick public service announcement. The stimulus package allows for mortgage companies (at their discretion) to offer a forbearance for your loan payments. This is different than a deferment.

So if you happen to have a mortgage, know that if you take advantage of this program, your skipped payments quite possibly are due in full after this quarantine is over. The mortgage company does not have to make the loan payments due at the end of your loan.

In other news, I am so glad I am not a landlord right now.

A Peaceful Life

Last week I was talking with Bliz. I told her I was so relieved not to be a landlord right now. I wouldn't want to deal with this craziness AND deal with everyone else's craziness too. Besides, with some of the tenants I had at one time, they would be looking for reasons not to pay rent, even if they could.

I don't miss that life.

The State of the Real Estate Market

Yesterday's real estate data class was enlightening. Essentially, everyone should take a chill pill and calm down. The world isn't ending. The housing values aren't plummeting. To give you perspective, there are now a whopping total of 12,000 units on the market--that includes everything from condos, mobile homes to mansions. We have currently 2.387 buyers for every unit for sale.

Last week, in the entire Phoenix metro area 5 percent of all home escrows fell out. And of those 5 percent, three percent went back into escrow. So, take a breath.

There are some positive results of this crazy time. Investors and Ibuyers (like Zillow, OfferPad, Open Door) have completely withdrawn from the market. They aren't buying or selling. That means, for buyers, there are less multiple offers. For sellers it means they might have their home on the market for a week instead of a day. Also, a seller might have to fix a broken widget or two. But it doesn't mean prices are crashing or foreclosures are rampant.

Could all this change if we have more uncertainty? Sure. I don't have a crystal ball. But as of today, it is still a good time for my seller to sell their home.

Pandemic Business

The Arizona Governor has declared real estate an "essential business" and therefore people are allowed to buy and sell homes right now. From what I am hearing business is hot. I am not sure I actually believe that. However, I know agents are writing contracts and houses are getting sold. I also know my errors and omissions insurance will not cover me being sued from someone getting sick at an open house right now. How's that for a funky rider in an insurance policy?

I have my (now online) monthly Trusted Advisor meeting today where we will go over the current state of the market. It is one thing to hear "business is booming" from fellow agents, the Trusted Advisor meeting will give me data to back that up.

I need this data because I have a listing that is supposed to go active in a few days. My seller needs to move. But I want to make sure I have the right expectations set for her. Will it be on the market for more days? Will I need to lower the price to get it sold (inventory is still super-low)? 

I have already confirmed I can get my photographer to take pictures. I also hope my sign company is still working, because I do not want to dig a hole myself. I prefer sign companies. Plus, it keeps the small businesses moving. I have a note to my graphic artist to see if I can get flyers made--how I will get them printed is anyone's guess, given I don't know if the print shop is open. But we shall see. 

A Happy Story

Yesterday, amidst a quarantine and thunderstorm, my clients had their final walk-through. Everything in the home looked great. Per a gentleman's agreement, the pool table stayed with the property (we couldn't put that in writing). It was there. Along with, I am told, some tournament-quality pool cues. As I know nothing about pool tables or cues, I will just have to take the word of my buyer.

After our walk-through we went to the title office. The power went out about 39 nanoseconds after we arrived, so we moved our signing to a table by the window where the title officer gave us copious amounts of hand sanitizer. Then, when we were done and parting ways, they promised to find me next month and give me a long-overdue hug. I would settle for a glass of tea at their new home, but that's just me.

Today the sale closed without incident. It is a low-drama, happy story for my super-nice folks. I really like these clients. I am glad I got to help them buy their first home.

Quarantine Mems

Not to make light on what is happening around the world, but let's face it, what all can we do other than worry, make light or totally ignore?

Monday, I was at the grocery store buying produce (nobody is picking through the fresh produce and meat, instead stocking up on frozen dinners?) when a woman approached me with two packages of toilet paper. "Do you want these?" she asked. Actually, I did want her rolls and I had already looked on the shelf. There was none left. My brother's family missed the memo stores were running out and so were they. In fact, Little Brother had been canvassing stores that morning since 5 a.m. looking for a roll or two and had taken to swiping napkins at the local Quik Trip so they could make it through the day.

The toilet paper came with a heavy price. The woman clutched it tightly, telling me how a different president would never have let this happen. Maybe, we don't know. I am 51 and this is my first self-quarantine pandemic. So, I have no reference. Nor do I care at the moment. Taking care of ourselves and others is more of my priority.

In other news, my six year old nephew will now have a spot-clean bottom.

Here's a bit of levity, all from the Face Book Real Estate Forum.

In My Zone

According to that Bastion of Truth, the Internet, the third week of March is National Introvert Week. I am so in my element.

No Teaching

Welp. I'm actually sick. No, I don't have some virus that is the equivalent of the common cold and makes people hoard toilet paper and TV dinners. Instead, I have something that I could really, REALLY use antibiotics for if I had the energy to go to urgent care and get a prescription.

I was supposed to teach today. Apparently that real estate school is the only place that lost the memo that the world was shutting down. So, I had to bow out of my teaching obligation--which doesn't really put me in the most credible light, especially after Beth went to some effort to get me on the schedule for today.

As an introvert, self-quarantining is no biggie. In fact, the phrase, "self-quarantining," is just a fancy way to say, "Saturday." I have books. And if worse comes to worse, I will fire up Netflix and watch a Spanish Novella or two. Or, I could work on sending out comps to the rest of my clients if I felt like being productive. Which I don't.

The Truth Behind Open Houses

How to Not Sell a Home (Part 2)

I got a voice mail from Carlos. He said he was "confused." He innocently asked, how could my buyers possibly think he could have insulted them? And then he completely feigned ignorance by asking when did this alleged insulting happen? More importantly, would I please call him so we could straighten this out? Oh yes, how could I forget! Carlos also asked if my buyers would like a fence built around the property to sweeten the deal?

Now it is quite possible Carlos' mother never explained to him that when he grows up, if he just happens to be in sales, and he makes two rude comments at the buyer of a home AND that buyer turns, gives him an earful that could be heard two states away and specifically says, "That was totally out of line and completely sexist," in a shouty voice, someone might be telling Carlos they are offended. But I doubt it. I am sure Carlos' mother had her hands full with that dude and made this very clear.

What I think really happened is that the seller read my e-mail (the program Carlos and I both use for feedback goes directly to the seller) and asked specifically what my feedback was about. And now Carlos is just covering his backside.

Teaching Update

Next week is the Professional Development meeting, where we, as a committee, hear potential instructors audition for opportunities to teach at the local association. Frankly, after what I saw last time when I was watching potential instructors actually audition, I am not terribly concerned about the actual interview.

However, in order to interview, I need to have three 15 minute lessons planned, practiced and ready to go. What happens then, is the panel decides which 15 minute presentation they want to hear and I need to be ready to teach it. Though doable, I haven't had time to work up any additional lessons in a way I could safely say would put me in the best academic light. I could probably whip something up off the cuff, but I am about 90 percent perfectionist. So, maybe not.

Additionally, in order to be asked to prepare three lessons to present to the panel, one has to turn in their application. I haven't done that yet either. It isn't because of my 10 percent procrastination nature. Really! Well, maybe.

Yesterday, I was all ready to fill out my four-page application when I started reading it. On page two, it asks for the potential instructor to list all the times in the past twelve months they may have taught whatever class they are auditioning. I have taught precisely once. And somehow, I see putting down that I have taught one real estate class in my life as a deterrent to being taken seriously by the interview panel. But that's just me.

In an effort to add a bit more street cred to my resume, I called Beth. Can I teach at least three more times before May's meeting? I asked her. She didn't commit to three times, but promised me once, as there is only one class on her calendar right now. Of course, there might be a second and a third opportunity, but let's get through the next class first, shall we? It's a good start.

How to Not Sell a Home

I showed homes yesterday. The price range was closer to one million than it was to one hundred thousand. I only bring this up, because it is somewhat customary for the selling agent, representing a high-end luxury home, to meet the buyer's agent and the buyer's agent's clients at the property. Carlos was that seller's agent.

Carlos met my clients at the last house we saw, parking his 1970's' red Camaro and ambled to the driveway before we had a chance to get out of my car. He introduced himself to my clients. I went to hand him my business card and he looked at me and said, "I just throw those away. Don't bother."

Without asking any questions about what drew my buyers to the house (you know, understanding their wants and needs or even why on Earth they wanted to see this particular home to begin with), Carlos proceeded to quickly escort them through the house, giving them minutiae that my clients didn't really care about. What my clients wanted to know about was would the house be a good fit for them. None of his, "the seller spared no expense on this flooring," really made a shred of difference to folks checking to see if their home theater would work in the extra bedroom. And, "the owner would be willing to remove the extra orange trees at $250 a tree after escrow," really wasn't a selling feature when my folks needed to ensure the garage was large enough to hold their workout equipment and pottery kilns.

In addition to all that, Carlos only took two breaths. The first was when he looked at the wife and pointed to the kitchen, "This should be big enough for you. Don't you think? That kitchen sink can hold all your dirty dishes until you have a chance to wash them." As we all sucked in some air, Carlos took his his last parting shot. Pointing to the laundry room, he said to the wife, "This is so big that when you take a break from cooking and cleaning you can handle the laundry. In the meantime, the dirty clothes can just stay in here."

While the husband and I slowly processed this, the wife lost her cool and told Carlos what she really thought of his comments. And, to the shock of nobody but Carlos and his seller who hired Carlos to sell the house, Carlos didn't back down or act the least bit contrite.

When we were leaving, the wife said to her husband, "I don't care if we live in a pup tent, we aren't buying that place."

Frankly, I personally thought the home, new or not, was overpriced and wasn't that great of a house. The floor plan was clunky. There was this odd room that made no sense (it was off the kitchen and had no window or closet and did not seem to have any reason to exist. One bedroom THAT FACED THE FRONT OF THE HOUSE, had a sliding glass door as its only window ("The seller would be willing to put in a window for $1,000 after close of escrow if the buyers are interested."). The other bedrooms were in willy-nilly places and nothing felt cohesive. Plus, there was no fence around the backyard. If one is spending three-quarters of a million dollars (or more) on a new home, it is reasonable in the Phoenix market to expect a fence around the property.

Today Carlos contacted me, asking for feedback. "What did your buyer's think?" He wrote. "Are they going to put an offer in, or do you want me to schedule another showing?"

My reply was simply, "Once you insulted my buyer with the kitchen and laundry room comments, they were done the house. Sorry we couldn't make the sale."

I am sure his seller is doubly sorry.

A Pleasant Surprise

Remember Landon and Dawn? They had a house in Gilbert they wanted to sell. Dawn is a snide ugly piece of a human and took liberties to tell me on a regular basis what an idiot I am.

Much to their shock, last fall, I fired them. It was a wonderful release, restoring not only my dignity but my sanity.

But first! I called a broker friend of mine and asked him if he wanted these folks. After all, they were about to be agentless. When I was done delicately explaining why I was stepping back (she is the friend of a close family friend and just didn't respect me or my professional opinion), he said, "Sure, I'm up for a challenge."

My broker friend listed the house and it closed. And even better! He gave me a moderately modest referral check for giving him the clients. I didn't ask for a referral, but I am not complaining. I am beyond grateful. I expected nothing.

By the way, Marty suggested I mention: I looked on MLS and checked out her house. Back when she and I were talking, EVERY recommendation I made to her came with rude comments. And yet, according to MLS, EVERY ONE of these recommendations were completed. She replaced the tile floor (cracked and broken). She took out the termite-infested bookshelves ("But we put them in..."). She replaced the worn, 20+ year old carpet. She even took out the carpet in the master bathroom ("There's nothing wrong with bathroom carpet."). She polished up the paint. She even cleaned up the yard ("Why bother? Isn't it a seller's market?" she asked.).

All of these were suggestions I made long ago that was met with nasty ugly sucker punches to my ego. What ever happened to just, "No thank you?" But, what do you know!? When my broker friend suggested these upgrades, he was a genius. The check I got today absorbed all of that bitterness.

The Devil Smokes Camels

I am not sure I can sum this up, and I am not up to writing a long post tonight. So, here's hoping it is succinct.

I have an out of state buyer.

He is an investor.

He doesn't live in Arizona. You fully comprehend that, right?

I have driven 360 miles in the past two days.

He smokes. Once, briefly, in my car. Once.

He knows more about the Phoenix market than I do. Just ask him. He keeps demanding that I show him the "real" houses for sale and not the chrome plated crap I am driving him to. By the way, I don't like driving. Also by the way, I have suggested multiple times the market isn't like he has read about in the first chapter of some 2001 "How to Buy Real Estate" manual. But, what do I know?

He doesn't like me. I am not sure I am a fan of him either.