Zooming

Where the Magic Happens

The last time I taught a virtual training was in 2011 when I worked for a moving company. I was a corporate trainer, teaching unsuspecting folks how to handle call center calls. Not gonna lie to you. I was good at it. But it paid diddly compared to what real estate paid. When the real estate market picked up enough that I was spending my 15 minute breaks in the stairwell, negotiating contracts, and I was making more on one real estate sale than I was for three months of training, it was time to consider my life choices. But I have to tell you, I really liked being a trainer.

Anyway, I had a zoom class on the purchase contract today. It would be awesome if I could share with you how I spent the entire week setting up for this. But, with Marty's employment situation, Steve's sale and a plethora of other craziness, I was a bit distracted. I did manage to go over the materials a few times. I also had Beth get on as a zoom participant once. And I had Polly and Jane on as a zoom meeting a couple of times to make sure the lighting was correct and I could maneuver through the controls well enough to look competent.

Temporary. I can't wait to
have a clean room! 

In my bedroom, hard-wired into my internet, I have set up a zoom classroom. I have two computer screens, a camera and a ton of materials for my class. Behind me I took my best green tablecloth and used it as a backdrop so that I could have a nicer background. I played with the lighting six ways from Sunday to ensure I was visible. In the end, the "best lighting" meant I had three lamps on and the bedroom door had to be open about 18 inches only. No more no less.

The class was ok. Not my best (my second time teaching, so that tells you something). But given how we had to do it and I only saw expressionless faces staring at me I can't complain. I was asked a few questions so I know they were listening. There were other challenges that I am not sure I want to process right now too. But, overall, it was a good experience.

Six Little Words

Thursday afternoon Marty got an e-mail from his boss declaring they would be having a, "private-one-on-one" conversation about his employment Friday morning. Nothing else was added and his boss could not be reached for further clarification.

Thursday night, Marty flopped all night like a swordfish in a bucket of water. And because he was tossing and turning, so was I. At 4:30 I finally got up and went outside to watch the sunrise, hoping to give him a few more hours of sleep.

All morning there was speculation. Was he gainfully employed or not? The kids asked questions we could not answer. I had to leave but asked of him if he does get a layoff notice not to discuss this with the kids until he and I have time to talk.

I pulled into the parking lot for my appointment with Steve and the Builder at 10:15 only to immediately receive a text: "I have a job for now." I couldn't ask a lot of details at that moment, but it was enough to unclench my jaw. This stress from the last month was maddening and those six words managed to drain that anxiety right out of me.

Oh, his boss did want to talk to him about the layoff situation. He told him what was happening and how the internal process was working. There is more employment news to come in following months. Plus, there are rumors floating around that some of Marty's team were not so lucky. But it looks like Marty is ok for the near future.

Steve Update

Not to jinx it or anything, but Steve and I are going out to meet with the new home builder rep today. Now let's be clear: Steve has practically been living at this builder rep's office for the past few days. I joined him on Wednesday for an afternoon of answering questions and previewing homes.

For those of you who don't think you need representation at a new build, oh please! call me. So far this week I have read through the 49 page purchase contract--it isn't the standard one I teach. In this contract there are a lot of builder-friendly clauses and no buyer-friendly clauses. I read through the 60 page addendum, public report and other bits o' paper. I took notes and then I explained all of it to Steve.

All of it.

He now understands how his money is being used and what it will take to get out of the contract and get his earnest money back if he chooses not to move forward. By the way, about the only thing getting him out of this contract and getting his money back is his own death--and he won't miss his earnest money at that point.

I have also researched who owns the land that is being built upon. Protip: sometimes the builders don't own the land and don't have title to the land they build on. If they haven't purchased the land prior to close of escrow, the buyer can't close--even if the buyer's worldly belongings are in the moving truck and they have just sold their home. (True story!) And the contract pretty much says the buyer has no recourse. But if the buyer delays closing, it is $1,000 a day penalty.

In addition to this, Steve asked for guidance picking out his lot, floor plan and lots of extras. Did he want a west-facing back yard? Did he want the lot backing the major street? Was the lot premium worth it? (NO!). Was four bedrooms better for resale? Would 8' interior doors be better for resale? What are "upgraded" cabinets? And the list went on.

Plus, Steve had lots of questions about fees, loans, taxes, his payment and other items that I either referred him to an expert or handled them myself. But mostly, I referred him to folks smarter than me.

This is only the beginning of the process. Steve's estimated build time is 10 months--but the contract gives the builder the right to extend this to 2 years. So, there will be inspections, walk-throughs, more paperwork and eventually keys.

I am really excited for him--if he goes for it. You see, I am not 100 percent sure this is happening. In addition to the above, I have also talked to him a few times a day while he processed this, making sure this was right for him.

Steve is a great client and an even better human. I have so enjoyed working with him. He has been a breath of fresh air--gracious fresh air--in a very uncertain time in my life. I hope he picks this house, because it seems like a good fit.

Update: Steve is under contract!

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

This morning I blasted Tom Petty's "The Waiting" as our daily will-he-or-won't-he get laid off today ritual as Polly and I danced in the front room. This is our latest theme song. So far we are into 24 hours of Marty's job being secure. Marty has until Monday before feels he is safe for this round. Yep, we hear there are more rounds coming.

I equate these layoffs to a massive earthquake. There are tremors in the beginning (rumors), then the biggie hits (the voluntary one earlier this month) and now the aftershocks (mandatory layoffs) that could be as big as the massive. But honestly, the waiting gets old. We are tired of waiting. We are tired of "what if."

After Tom Petty, I played Metalica's "Enter Sandman," because it is a great song and I miss baseball. Steve was wearing a Metalica t-shirt yesterday when we went to look at homes. (It is so nice to have a client my age). Honestly, at this point I think there is a greater chance of baseball coming back this year than Marty being laid off, but I just need Marty's employer to say so in order for us to give a sigh of relief. I just wish Marty's waiting was over.

Unicorn Hunting

There it is! 

I have a great client. I mean it. Today he sent me a note that said, "you are the best." I really, really like this guy.

I would like him a teensy bit better if he wasn't chasing unicorns. But even that isn't too terrible because he is so much fun.

Today we drove all over hell's half-acre, Maricopa County in search of his perfect home. It must have: an extra large garage, be under 1,800 square feet and have a community pool. And, it must be a new build with a low HOA.

After looking for 6 hours and driving in insane traffic, I am here to tell you, it just doesn't exist. I even called a few builders when I got home just to make sure: nope. Every builder said give up the big garage or community pool or something else. I didn't even broach the HOA fees with the builder reps.

All the while, Steve--bless him--was texting with his pal Patti who was giving him advice like, "Why not try Surprise AZ? The answer of course is, BECAUSE WHAT HE IS LOOKING FOR DOESN'T EXIST IN SURPRISE EITHER.

My frustration has nothing to do with Steve and everything to do with me not meeting his expectations. Real estate agents are the golden retrievers of sales people. We want to please. We want to be helpful and useful. Striking out again and again is maddening. Somewhere out there might be Steve's unicorn. But I haven't spotted it yet. Hopefully Steve is willing to settle for a Pegasus.

A Day in the Life

I have a buyer who wants to look at new build subdivisions in the West Valley. A "new build" subdivision for those of you not in the biz, is a new construction--that is, a brand new home where nobody (recently) has lived. New schools. New roads. New electricity.

For those of you who are in the biz, you know this, right?

Anyway, though I am familiar enough with this part of the world to hold my own, I don't have intimate knowledge of specific communities. So, I went to the experts. I posted the following question on the super-secret realtor-only (ONLY) Facebook site. Here is what I wrote: "I am looking for new build communities only in Goodyear/Buckeye/Litchfield Park. Recommendations please."

Honest to Pete, I thought that was pretty specific. Most people actually gave me the names of communities for me to look into. Then there were the two who just couldn't get it together.

The first told me she was a neighborhood expert and a great agent and if I wasn't working with a real estate professional she would be happy to represent me. She even put down her phone number so we could have a friendly chat. Fortunately, someone else pointed out that I posted this note in the realtor only (ONLY) FB site, so therefore I happened to be a realtor.

Then there was the other person who responded. Mrs. Hufflepuff. She just happens to have a listing out there and she thought it would be perfect for my buyer--though she has no idea who my buyer is or what they want. The fact she has a listing means the house is not new. It also means she wasn't paying attention.

Anyway, I did not respond. Not to be deterred. Mrs. Hufflepuff then blew up my phone with messages about how I should show her listing. When I mentioned my client was looking for a new build, Mrs. Hufflepuff then went on about how my client might want to reconsider because the prices in the West Valley were going to be too expensive. I didn't respond to that either, because Mrs. Hufflepuff has no idea if I am working with a pauper or millionaire.

I now have a nice list of places to check out, thanks to the other folks who were paying attention to my post. Incidentally, after some consideration, I have decided to let my client choose whether or not for me to represent him in the West Valley. I know the area. I know the home builders but if he isn't comfortable with my limited knowledge of the specific neighborhoods I would rather I find someone he is comfortable working with. I will give him that option tomorrow. Hopefully he will still choose me. But I think it is fair to make that offer.

Teaching!

Even though the world has been shut down for a while, real estate education has not. In fact, most agents (not me) have been taking advantage of zoom classes, where they are able to get their continuing education at a greatly reduced price. To be fair, I sat through the first hour of Kaye's Disclosure class last week, but checked out after an hour and decided I wasn't desperate enough to take any classes at this time.

Now let's not confuse desperate enough to take classes with desperate enough to get teaching experience. Because I am on the schedule twice in the next several weeks to teach the contract writing class. This will be my second (and third) time teaching. It will be done through zoom. I am not thrilled about having to do this via the internet, but I really, REALLY want the experience so I can apply to teach at the Association. Beth is sweet enough to support me on this, when she really doesn't need to. And I am truly grateful for the opportunity.

Facts of Life with Buckaroo

At the gym yesterday, I cautioned Buckaroo not to go too hard on his weights. He was straining, and it seemed to me that he was trying to lift about 30 pounds more than he should. Now then, a mother publicly telling her 17 year old son to take it easy on anything, never goes well--especially if I am the mother and Buckaroo is the son. But I persisted.

"Look, I don't want you to hurt yourself. If Dad gets laid off, we may not have health insurance so please pay attention to how much you are lifting."

Buckaroo rolled his eyes, "Dad isn't getting laid off," was his comment.

"Dad seems to be under the impression there's a good chance he will be," I countered.

That got Buckaroo's attention. His eyes got wide and all of the sudden, the reality that we have been living under became clearer. "Oh," he said softly. "I didn't realize you all were serious."

Of course, Buckaroo didn't lessen his weights, but he was a lot more careful with his reps and let me spot him from that point forward.

Needless Paperwork

Steve wanted to see a house. The agent replied to my request announcing that only after I sent over the signed "Covid-19 hold harmless forms" would he grant the showing.

Now then, there is no hold harmless cooties form. There is no hold harmless measles form. There is no hold harmless head lice/small pox/athlete's foot form either. But some brokerage somewhere now has a form that only the buyer signs (but not the agent or anyone else walking through the house with the buyer) saying they will not sue if they get Covid-19 from someone affiliated with the house. It doesn't say the seller won't accuse and sue the buyer (or buyer's agent) if they get Covid.

Anyway, I got annoyed.

However, my job is to do what my client wants. So, I called my client, explained the form, and read it word for word to him. "Do you want me to send this to you for you to sign?" I asked.

It turns out, Steve and I are of the same mind on this one. No. He did not want to proceed.

I told the agent my client would be passing on the house--but I did not explain why. The agent wrote back, "I don't see the problem. I've had 30 agents turn this form in." Sure he has. If he has had 30 buyers walk through his listing with no offer, there is a bigger problem with this house than potentially catching Covid.

My New Pal Patti

So my client Steve has a friend he has mentioned about 2 million times. She is a commercial agent in her state and they talk often. And then he talks about her. Often. All of her real estate advice is given to me, in great detail about how things work there and what I should be doing here. If Steve wasn't so darn personable I might be annoyed. This friend is so influential in his real estate interests, that this weekend he went back to her state and she tagged along back to Arizona to join him on his house hunting adventure today.

Now then, I got to meet Steve's friend Patti. She is a total delight. Imagine Steve, but a girl. The two of us hit it off right away, with me being able to say things to another agent that I could not say to him. She would then laugh and and explain to Steve, that no, indeed I was telling the truth/working in his best interests or whatever else she needed to translate. It was so refreshing to talk shop in greater-nerdy detail to someone who was interested in hearing it.

Honestly, I think the two of us completely forgot he was with us at one point during our house journey today. To Steve's credit, he handled it like a champ. But I expect nothing less from this really great guy.

At one home, the seller was there, gave us some information that Patti and I took differently than Steve. "Oh, he doesn't want to sell." I said. "Nope." Patti agreed. Steve gave us a side-look and said, "He said he wants to sell...." Patti and I shook our heads. "No." we said in unison. Then I explained, "The wife is making him sell. She wants to be closer to the grandkids." Patti agreed. Steve was perplexed, but took Patti's word for it--I still have no credibility.

Steve hasn't found "the house" yet. But we look often. Hopefully we will look again while Patti is in town. Or maybe she will come back soon. Steve seems fond of her. And I know I am too.

I Need a Vacation

My Big Girl Broker voice was exercised today. I had a strongly worded message for an unsuspecting real estate agent. I sent over a addendum and this agent actually typed in more verbiage to this signed addendum.

I was unhappy. And I said so.

Words and phrases such as "fraud," "legally binding" and "ethics breach" were used in big heaps, expressing my serious displeasure.

To the agent's credit, she apologized and offered to make this right. However, she has no business having a license if she didn't know this was a problem to begin with.

Rental Update

My rental friend signed her lease on her new place. She originally picked one condo, but then we found an even better condo with the same management company, in the same area for significantly less money. She moves in next month.

She is making me feel better about rentals. Or at least affirming I don't mind working rentals for  people I like.

We Got The Ice Maker Fixed

Throwing Caution to the Wind

One of the crap byproducts of waiting to find out if the head breadwinner of the household will be employed in a couple of weeks is that decisions for life basics are on hold. Such as, do we buy another car or couches? Or, do we fix the broken ice maker if there is a chance we are moving? And, my favorite, should we prune the front shrubs if we have to sell? Because, I have to tell you, when we prune those shrubs they look awful for a few weeks.

The truth is, if Marty Sunshine doesn't have a job in the near future, he will take anything reasonable, anywhere. Does that mean we stay where we are? Well, we live in a metro area of 5 million where the economy is doing well and so is housing. So, if there are jobs here, sure. Why not! But if there aren't forthcoming jobs? We don't.

Or, what if all he finds here is contract work? That means I need to find a job so I can provide the health insurance. That is a whole different discussion and not one for now. But a very real possibility. Local contract work at Marty's skill level is plentiful right now. Stable Marty-type jobs aren't.

The idea of moving and living this frustration (AGAIN Damnit!) isn't good for the digestion or anyone's pleasant demeanor. We went through a dry rehearsal with moving to Florida last year for fun, but this one may be for keeps. Though he is diligently looking locally, once in a while Marty will have his nose buried in his computer and pop his head up and say something like, "I found a position that is a really good fit. How far is the closest Costco from Liberal Kansas?"

As I explained to Polly today, I have no idea what the future holds for us. The layoff list is already made. It just won't be announced for two more weeks. Marty may not be on it, which may make our anxiety and frustrations as moot as this blog post. I am at a point where I would like to plan something--anything. Can I meet Jane in Vegas next month? Can I go to the Midwest for Bliz's birthday or visit Bonus Dad this summer? Can I just restock my freezer and buy new business cards? Too soon to tell. Two weeks from now I will have those answers. But right now we just have to live with ugly shrubs and fresh ice.

Note: There is another facet to this. What if he doesn't get laid off but finds a good fitting job somewhere from all the applications he is putting out there? I suspect he might consider it. But I will cross that bridge if and when it comes to it. I am not against finding a different state to live in. I would rather wait a little bit longer. We have fathers in their 80s and a son in EMT school. That's all. 

Where the Buyers Are

Somebody Buy This, Please! 

Last week, in an tsunami-like manner, the Phoenix housing market went nuts. Anything under about $350,000--even the garbage homes, mind you--were sold same day with multiple offers. It was like all those soon-to-be-homeless had enough pent up energy, stimulus money and tax refund cash to go house hunting. And did they ever!

As of this writing (Saturday morning) there are 10,832 active single family homes for sale.* That isn't a lot. According to Sarah, my title rep, inventory has been crashing and escrows are escalating. According to other agents, anyone in the biz who is complaining about not being busy isn't trying. I have to agree. I have been running around like crazy this week.

Which bring me to the point of this post. I have had zero showings on my sweet listing since Monday. ZERO!!!! I am perplexed. The house is adorable. It is clean, functional and has all the goodies buyers like, such as roof, floor, windows. In this market, honestly, buyers can't be too picky. But in all seriousness, this house is really nice. And that is why I am befuddled. I have sold garbage homes. This one isn't garbage.

My theory is simply that all the sellers who wanted to move into bigger homes who got offers this week are now waiting through the buyer's 10 day inspection period (which would be next week). Once they know for sure they are selling their home and their buyers are committed, they will be out in droves next weekend. I hope.

I did ask a few agents for feedback in the past few days. After all, no showings is weird. I mean, it isn't as if I am getting buyers looking at the place and rejecting it. I am not even getting that. The strangest feedback I received was from someone in the business longer then me. And frankly, I am not sure I even know what to make of her comment. She said in the interior photos, the place looked like a "grandma" home. Why? Because there is a china cabinet and grandfather clock in one picture. I seriously doubt that is holding up buyers from looking at the entire property. "No, no Mary, we simply can't see this house! Look at that ghastly grandfather clock!"

My realtor pal, John, checked Zillow. The property is syndicated properly. He also looked at the photos and assured me the place looked great. And then, he had no other answers and agreed, it was strange nobody was looking at it.

At this time, I have one showing scheduled. It is John--who said he would take a peek at it in person as a courtesy. Nor does he have a buyer.

My seller, though very pleasant, treats me like she doesn't trust me (nor does her dog Ruby). It is apparent when we talk, but it comes with the job. I see her as vulnerable and concerned, not wanting to make bad choices while getting the most out of her equity. She loves her home. This is tough for her. She wants someone to love her house as much as she does. And I would like to make that happen for her. I just need to figure out where the buyers are.


*There are 13,727 active units for sale--that includes condos, townhomes, manufactured homes, etc.

Steve

Dear, dear Steve is a wonderful client. I wish could clone him or use him as a, "How to be a Kind Human and Even Better Client," poster child. He knows nothing about the Phoenix metro area and has been relying heavily on me for housing advice. Then he cross-checks what I say with daily advice from a commercial real estate friend who lives out of state. And then he looks on the Internet and sees what some random real estate writer (who also lives out of state) has to say.

The really funny part about this is that he will then apologize to me for not agreeing with any opinions I might have from what my 17 years' experience as a real estate agent and many, MANY more years as a Valley resident might lend. So far this hasn't gotten old--he is that pleasant.

Because he is so gosh darn nice, I am enjoying my time with him. It makes the physical exhaustion and the daily (and tactful) dismissiveness much more fun. By the way, I think we found the "one."  But probably won't know anything until next week.

And So We Wait

Marty got word his company will be announcing mandatory layoffs at the end of this month. He has no idea if he is on the list. We will know soon enough. I guess.

2004 All Over Again

Last week I met with Steve. He wants to buy, but he is "taking his time," and is "in no hurry." On Saturday, Steve texted me four homes he wanted to see. I made appointments to view on Tuesday--our agreed upon date to meet.

On Sunday, he saw that two of the homes he wanted to see were under contract. So, he sent me four more. I made appointments.

By Monday, he saw that those four and one of the ones from Saturday were under contract. He was in Tucson at the time and he offered to stop what he was doing, and immediately drive up and look at these four homes (plus the remaining one from Saturday) right then and there. Nope. I had other obligations, based on the fact he told me he wasn't available until Tuesday.

Monday night at 11:30 p.m., all four from Monday morning plus the last holdout from Saturday were under contract. However, his text asked about seeing three more when we met up on Tuesday. And could we start earlier? I didn't reply. First, I was asleep. And second, I don't reply to business texts at 11:30 at night. Why encourage rude behavior?

This morning I looked up the three new properties. All were available to see today. But, I managed to get a hair appointment, and (not) sorry. So, I told him this afternoon we were on.

Wisdom and experience tell me that these will probably be gone before Steve decides he is in a hurry.

Not a Complaint

I had a great time Saturday with my old friend. We laughed. A lot. We looked at many, many homes. She even found "the one!" I was relieved. It was hot. We drove (in my car) about 95 miles. Showing rentals had never been this fun or simple. She then filled out the application. Sunday night at 9 p.m. I got a call from the listing agent. My friend was approved. It was the easiest $37.49 I ever made!

This morning my friend decided the place wasn't for her. In fact, as of right now, she is going to "take a break for a few and regroup."

So, I am going to call the agent back and let him know my client is passing this up. Then I am going to take a break for a few and regroup.

Adventures with an Old Friend

Note: if I have EVER helped you once or twice (or more) with a rental, it is because I like you and I didn't mind one teeny bit. I know two of you who have access to this blog may fall into this category. I'm not talking about you. I promise. 

I have a friend of 26+ years who is looking for a rental. She needs to move by June 30. Because 1) she is moving to a completely different area of town that she knows nothing about and 2) I like her bunches and spending time with her is always a treat therefore, I am willing to let her look at a couple properties sooner than later.

As with everyone I work with, expectations have been set. As with friends who hire their real estate friends, they (most of the time) ignore the professional advice given. Then again, how can you possibly take your realtor-friend seriously when she has dragged your drunk ass out of a bar back in 1995?

Just to be clear: I will make enough to fill up my gas tank when I eventually get paid on this rental for day in the heat and about 10 hours of paperwork--and that's just if she finds one today. But again, I really, REALLY love this old friend. Spending the day with her is worth more than the $3.87 I will net. She's worth it.

Except for this next part, which is never worth it.

Anyway, like all soon-to-be-homeless renters, my friend took this as an invitation to go house shopping, sending me 17 properties she wants to see today. Of course, it is the weekend and property managers don't answer their phones on the weekend. Plus, there are tenants in many of these, who all are required a 2 day notice. And let's talk about the vacant homes, no landlord is going to hold a rental for seven weeks. Then there is this whole virus-thingy going around, that causes concern about strangers in homes even for those who aren't immune compromised.

Anyway, I am about to select a few homes from her list that meet her criteria that we can see today. I suspect she is going to be disappointed in her options.

Social Distancing Stupidity

Note: I have unpopular opinions about this pandemic. 

I went to a buyer consultation with some dude named Steve. Generally, the way things go, I meet with the buyers in their place of residence (if I know them), a coffee shop or a title office conference room and talk a bit about what to expect when it comes to buying a home. It is all well and good to look at pretty places, but let's face it, buying a house is a financial decision that should not be taken lightly.

Anyway,  Steve wants to buy a home. Steve is living in an extended stay hotel in (his words) "a sketchy neighborhood" (which it is, but I can't tell him that) in East Phoenix. I don't know Steve. I have talked to him on the phone once. I am not about to show Steve homes when he isn't prequalified and we haven't had a consultation. So, it was time to meet.

Now then, you may not be aware, but it was 105 degrees on Thursday. You also may not be aware, but the entire corporate world is closed down because everyone has a lawyer who is telling them more than two people in a room the size of a small grocery store can cause cold/flu-like symptoms which can be transmitted to perfect strangers miles away. And one last you-may-not-be-aware, though I know a lot of Steves, I don't know this one so I wasn't about to go into this strange man's hotel room.

Because coffee shops and title companies were closed (and hotel management decided we were a health risk to sit in an empty lobby on two couches), Steve and I headed over to a park to chat about house hunting. The shady ramada worked well enough for our purposes, though he was enjoying the heat much, much more than I was. And then, some City of Phoenix employee who is being paid handsomely to explain how we were contaminating other Phoenix residents, told us we could not sit at a picnic bench more than six feet from each other. All that was permissible was sit in the grass--because that was a better place to social distance. And that is what Steve and I did--me in my realtor garb, he in his casual Arizona-tourist-in-May clothes. Ninety minutes later, we had chatted, I got him in touch with a lender who prequalified him and I darn near passed out from the heat on the drive home.

Will Steve be my client? I don't know. He said he was "picky." He said he is in "no hurry." Whatever, he is living in a hotel in a sketchy part of Phoenix, so I am guessing he is in a little bit of a hurry. In any case, he is now prequalified. I have to tell you though, I thought he was super-pleasant and I would love to work with him. But next time we get together, there will be air conditioning.

Ruby

Don't let that sweet face fool you. 

Back in the old days--two and a half months ago--I took a listing (that has yet to hit the market, but that's another story). Anyway, my seller has a standard poodle named Ruby.

From the day we met, Ruby has snarled, barked and bore her teeth my direction. I find it strange, because though I am not a dog person, dogs don't usually hate me. But this one does. And let me tell you, Ruby made it very clear she was not to be trifled with.

Now then, when I visit, I bring my own doggy treats, in hopes of winning this dog over. After all, I have spent more time with her than I have with my seller. This past weekend, we got closer, with Ruby actually letting me pet her and hanging out with me the entire time I was there. There were extended pats on the head, long scratches behind the ears and she even took a few treats right from my hands. So the seller and I were pretty sure Ruby and I were now friends.

Tuesday the photographer showed up. Ruby was locked in the (air conditioned) garage in her kennel while the photographer clicked away, making my beautiful listing look even better. And when he was gone, as a favor to the seller, I let Ruby out of her kennel with the understanding Ruby would promptly go straight to the master bedroom and stay there for the remainder of the day, patiently waiting for her mistress to return.

Well, Ruby's a bitch.

Instead, Ruby ran instantly to the glass slider door, crossing her legs and asked to be let out for her to answer nature's call. Naively, I agreed and then I spent the next 45 minutes, in the 100+ degree heat trying to get this damn dog back into the house. When I called her, she ran. When I approached her she snarled, showed me her fangs and let me know her bite was much worse than her bark.

I tried pretending to leave. Nope.

I used my strong Mom voice. Nope.

I found treats. Nope.

I fished through my client's refrigerator and found human food to give her. Nope.

I pleaded. I begged. I swore. She didn't care.

Ruby was no fool. Nor was she the least bit dehydrated or showed any signs of heat exhaustion. Unfortunately, I did. But that was probably Ruby's evil plan all along.

In the end, Ruby finally managed to make it back into the house. I was spent and rested on the cool tile floor longer than the dog. Ruby still didn't eat my treats, drink the copious amounts of water I left for her or show any regret. But for me, I once again, started rethinking my vocational choices.

Not to Jinx it or Anything

I am almost, possibly, maybe, hopefully sure my listing will be going on the market this week. I am meeting the photographer at the house in an hour. The sign post will be up tomorrow. My graphic artist is on notice to make me flyers.

With any luck, it will sell quickly. I took this listing with a six month contract the first weekend of March, with the idea that I wouldn't even have time to plant a sign in the yard before we had multiple full price offers. Oh how times have changed.

With All Due Respect to Casper Wyoming.

I am just sure Casper is just lovely this time of year. 

Marty Sunshine has elected to stay with his employer, virtually ignoring their voluntary layoff offer his organization has graciously thrown at 55 percent of the company. I have mixed feelings about this, but as a dutiful wife, I am keeping them to myself knowing he has picked what he feels is best for our family. With the country shut down, jobs might be slightly scarce and he doesn't want to be in a position where he has to take any old job in a place like Casper Wyoming because that's where there is employment. And truly, under the circumstances, his decision probably is best. Probably. Maybe.

Ok, honestly, there wasn't a good answer.

Marty's reasoning is simply this: a lot of people got voluntary layoff notices. If the herd is thinned with those who stepped forward, the company layoffs are complete. If they aren't, the "other" division of his company is more vulnerable right now and "most likely" those new layoffs would come from that division, leaving Marty's division alone. This is something his manager agrees about.

Conversely, if not enough people take this week's voluntary layoff there could possibly be another round of voluntary ("we are serious this time") layoffs--which Marty swears he would take very seriously. And if worse comes to worse, and not enough people come forward with the second--we-are-serious-this-time voluntary layoff and there is a mandatory layoff AND Marty's name is on there, then at least he has had medical benefits and a steady salary a little while longer.

However, Marty is no fool. He is reading the tea leaves. And though he is not taking this particular voluntary layoff package, he isn't getting any younger. He concedes there may be a target on his back. Therefore, he has opted to start looking around again.