Let the Games Begin

I just got off the phone with the buyer's agent of the cute little Tempe condo we have under contract. You see, the buyer has some "grave concerns."

The "grave concerns" really boil down to this 37 year old condo is not brand new. There is "evidence of previous water leaks." Though, I have to tell you, the agent could not tell me how there was evidence or where this evidence happened to be. In fact, there is all new faucets and bath fixtures in the place, but whatever. The plumber they hired to look this over said for a measly $1,600 he could make this all go away.

Let me just say, if a plumber can make $1,600 on phantom repairs in a 1,000 foot condo, I am in the wrong business.

In addition to this, the ceiling fan happens to only operate by the cord hanging from the fan, not by a  switch that doesn't exist, because the ceiling fan installation came after the condo was built. The closet doors are "wobbly" and a few other minor types of items that I just couldn't wrap my head around.

Oh! The buyer is devistated--devistated I tell you!--there is no spa on the property. That one is on me. I listed the property with a spa. I have since taken it out of the listing.

Anyway, all this is to tell you the buyer is probably asking for a boatload of phantom repairs (a seller can't recreate something that isn't broken--even though my seller says the pipes never leaked and has no idea what he is talking about). Conversely, the buyer would like a price reduction.

Bashing a home is a common negotating techquine in this business. It goes something like this. "My buyer really wants this place but we are finding all these terrible issues such as...." The answer of course, is simply, "If the issues are so terrible, why would your buyer want the place?"

Now, please note, we haven't actually seen the list of disproved items. All of this could be the agent blowing smoke. Or, there could be major and legitimate concerns that need to be addressed. I think it is probably somewhere closer to smoke. But that's just a gut feel. In any case, I listened to the buyer's agent and I suspect he thinks he won me over. He didn't.

I have discussed the potential list of items with the seller. He is dying to see the plumbing issues in writing, becasue he has no eartly idea where they could be. They probably will not attempt to repair anything that isn't major. They aren't giving a price reduction (we still haven't had an appraisal). My seller is more than willing to put the house back on the market because if the buyer walks, I suspect I will have a new offer shortly. There isn't anything else for sale. I checked.

The Condo Sellers

My sellers of the cute little condo in Tempe are starting to dither. It is day 9 of the 10 day inspection period and we haven't heard from the buyers. You see by day 10, the buyer has three choices:

1. take the home in the condition it is in,
2. ask for (reasonable) repairs if anything is found that needs repairs or
3. walk away.

And so far, we don't know which direction the buyers will go. Are there issues? Possibly. The condo was built in 1983. Do I know of any issues? Nope. Do the sellers know of any issues? Nope. But that won't stop a home inspector from digging up something--legitimate or not.

One would think a simple, "I have not heard from the buyer and they still have time left on their inspection," would suffice. This was followed up with assurances of, "usually if a big-ticket item is discovered, the buyer's agent generally reaches out to give warning." Sadly that has only made my sellers slightly more antsy.The unknown is eating at my folks. I understand. But I don't want to borrow trouble or manufacture drama. Whatever the case, we will know where this is going by Thursday.

In my experience, there's probably nothing wrong. If there is, it will need to be fixed. If it is major, it will need to be fixed AND the buyers will walk. I am crossing my fingers and toes for nothing major is wrong.

I Was Almost Hired

Earlier this week, my FSBO kids called me. They were done trying to sell this home themselves. They told me it was too "stressful." They wanted to hire me. I was downright giddy, knowing I had earned the right to sell this house. I know they talked to at least three agents earlier this month, but they picked me!

We were to meet the next day. I got all my 8 x 10 color glossies, facts, figures, papers and brochures and shoved them into my presentation folder. I was set! My listing presentation took about three hours to assemble. It was chock full of data and anaysis showing them what their home was worth and all sorts of other essential nuggets to help them make an informed decision.

Before we could meet, they got yet another offer on their home. And poof! They were back to being For Sale By Owners.

Oh well. I am not shocked they got another offer. I think they didn't price the home as well as they could. I also think they are in for a few surprises as this pans out. But, they didn't ask me now, did they?

Road Trip

Mount Eldon This Week

Because I haven't spent enough time in hotels this summer (so far only 22 days), I am going on a road trip today. I have a class tomorrow in Flagstaff. Jane needs this class too, so we are heading North for better weather and to learn all about the delights called, "Fair Housing." If all goes well, we will be back Friday night.

Earlier this week, while the Museum Fire raged wildly out of control on Mount Eldon, the coordinator of the class sent out an e-mail asking if the class should be postponed. I wrote her back with the following, "Barring an health and safety issues, I vote No. I live in the Valley, it is 110 degrees and already prepaid for my hotel. I doubt I will have time to take this class again any time soon if you reschedule." I doubt my e-mail was the reason the class is still on, but hey!

To be fair, I had already called the hotel and asked if I could get a refund if the fire wasn't under control. Also, to be fair, I could take this class again somewhere other than Flagstaff if necessary too. I think it is being offered in Phoenix around December.

It Took Two and A Half Days

Not to jinx it or anything, but it appears I may have sold that little overpriced Tempe condo. In fact, the offer we received was for more than full price. Of course, the place has to appraise for what we asked for, but we will cross that bridge when we come to it.

I'm not mentioning this to toot my horn. It wasn't me. It was the market. In a metro area of 5,000,000+ there are 14,0000 units available for sale.

That includes:

• Land
• Condos
• Townhomes
• Mobile Homes
• Single Family Homes
• Apartments
• Mansions
• Timeshares
• Weird stuff one might find for sale that has to do with real property on the multiple listing. (grave sites, convenience stores, barber shops, hotels, etc.)

So, really, it isn't much. But it is awesome for my seller. 

The FSBO Kids

So my For Sale By Owner kids from two weeks ago called me. They have an offer from an agent who is buying the property. They were hemming and hawing, beating around the bush, and finally I said, "just e-mail me the offer and let me look at it."

I did. What they were outraged--and I am not sure that is a strong enough term--is that the buyer is "flaunting" (thier words) the fact he is putting $50,000 down on this property. They felt it totatlly inappropriate to share how much "wealth" (their words) he had.

Actually, the contract has a place for down payment amount. It tells the seller a few things about the buyer, including how qualified the buyer is. But, I digress.

What they should have been outraged about was a myriad of other items this agent/buyer did. In fact, I was rather perplexed at this sloppy offer and I looked up the guy. He got his license a week ago. It appears he didn't have any one mentoring him when he wrote the offer.

There were a few red flags in this contract. The main one being nothing showed that the buyer was prequalified. I led with that. I told my FSBO kids to get the prequal and call the lender before anything else happens. That is actually also written in the offer. I directed them to the exact line.

I didn't bother to go into a few other red flags. Not my place. I just read them what was written on the contract. There's a difference between public knowledge and expertise. They are paying me nothing for public knowledge.

The buyer didn't ask for a commission and the FISBO kids were asking what will happen with that. "He doesn't get a commission. He didn't ask you for one." They processed that for a few and then asked about what if he wants one anyway? I told them to call his broker (who probably doesn't know he just wrote a really crappy offer) and explain that it is too late.

I also gave them the buyer's broker's number. That is also public knowledge.

Marty is Interviewing

In other news, Marty interviewed for a job somewhere in the swamp last week. I have only looked up  the population and the weather of that particular town. Currently rain is scheduled for every day next week. Plus, it isn't over 90 degrees. So, there's that.

Marty interviewing stresses me out. It shouldn't at this point. It is like a kid playing with a book of matches. Most likely every stick will go out without incident. But there's always that potential matchstick that gets out of hand and burns down the house. Most of his interivews poof into nothing. However, sometimes it takes a second or third interveiw before the flame goes out.

Recently, Marty decided to expand his job search to somewhere North of the 37th parallel. That was very generous of him, I might eventually live somewhere that has snow. Or tornadoes. I might be able to see Bliz more often. I suspect his willingness to expand his search had more to do with the damn heat wave and less to do with my desire to see four seasons or Bliz.

Right now there is no feedback on his interview. This stuff moves really slowly. It is even slower when one is a 55 year old male, with gray hair. Age discrimination is real. He currently has a good job. He is moderatlely happy at work. We are settled and I am living my life as if there won't be a three alarm fire next week.

Two Years

Two years ago, my life changed in ways I never would have fathomed. Bonus Mom suddenly died. All week I have been in mild to severe stages of hot mess. I blame it on the grief that just won't go away. I still cry. I still ache. I miss her terribly. This week Polly and I haven't seen eye to eye and I so wanted to call Bonus Mom and ask for advice. I wanted to know what exactly she said to me when I was at that same age to make everything better, because I just don't know how to reach and inspire Polly right now.

When I was commiserating about Bonus Mom recently, Jane suggested I make a list of what I loved about her. I'm not sure where to begin. I can tell you this. When I was 18 (Polly's age) I was a complete train wreck. I was spiraling downward at an accelerated pace, lost unsure of where to go. I was vulnerable and would have made some terrible and irrevocable choices if Bonus Mom and Dad hadn't been my accidental safety net.

I originally met her through her son. He and I had dated briefly in high school. We stayed in touch. One day, long after we ended, I went over to visit him and ended up talking to Bonus Mom for several hours. They were leaving soon for Michigan for their annual vacation and asked me if I would house sit. Given I was currently sleeping on the floor on a sheet at my parent's home, a bed sounded great! I moved in for their three week vacation, which turned into renting a room from them while I worked and went to school. Later, when I moved out, Bonus Mom handed me a check for the rent I had paid them, telling me to come back any time.

Which I did. For 30+ years. There has always been an open door at their home for me and my family. Always. Even after Bonus Mom passed Bonus Dad and their sons and wives have been welcoming and loving.

What I loved about Bonus Mom was that she had a loving and kind heart. Those aren't just platitudes. She took the time and energy to listen when I needed to be heard. She gave to me unconditionally and asked for nothing in return. She loved and wanted me at a time when I felt unlovable and unwanted.

Bonus Mom taught me how to Mother. She taught me to bake and sew. But I have to tell you, banana bread always tasted better when she made it. Bonus Mom held me when whatshisname and I broke up. She also offered her back yard for my wedding reception. (Marty was a better choice--she told me later--than old whatshisname). She made super-girly dresses for Polly the super girly-girl. She was there for the birth of Buckaroo, not only coming home early from Michigan but getting up at the crack of dawn that October morning and driving 50 miles just to be there to hold my hand.

We didn't refer to to each other as "mother" and "daughter," though we (and everyone who knew the relationship) defined us that way. It was actually Bonus Dad at her funeral who first spoke it, "You were her daughter," he said to me, hugging me as we both cried that day. And I was. But I got the better end of the deal. She was my Bonus Mom.

My New Listing

I listed a condo in Tempe this week. It goes "live" tomorrow. "Live," being that it will be active on the MLS. However, my sign is in the window and my phone hasn't stopped ringing.

The condo is listed for a bit on the high side. However, there is nothing for sale in the area. Nothing. And there certainly isn't anything for sale for under $200,000 around there. So, we went high. I will lower the price if I am not getting showings or an offer in a week. But given the basics of supply and demand, it doesn't hurt to start where we started.

My buddy John will be holding it open on Saturday. Hopefully he can pick up a buyer. I would prefer to turn my phone off for the weekend and just grieve, but one can't do that when one has a listing. With any luck, the activity will be high and my sweet folks will get this sold and be able to move on with their lives.

Good News, Not So Good News and Unusual News

The Women's Council of Realtors

Good news, great news, actually. I will not be joining that detestable hen party called Women's Council of Realtors. I ONLY agreed to join because Jane was going to be president and wanted me on her board. However, Jane isn't running any more. I am trying not to congratulate her on her excellent decision, though I really, really want to.

And to tell you how obnoxious and annoying this group is, when word got out (because Mrs. Hufflepuff is the world's biggest gossip), Jane's phone started blowing up at 10:30 at night from other members who were angry--ANGRY!--at her for not running. Many used phrases like, "How can you do this to us?" To "us??" Lest they be reminded, IT IS A VOLUNTEER ORGANIZATION THAT EXISTS FOR... well, I don't know why they exist. But that isn't the point.

Stinky news. Jane and Mr. Jane are looking at moving some time next year to somewhere pretty with four seasons. As empty nesters, they have that luxury.

Strange News. Jane wants to keep her Arizona real estate license active if she moves and asked if she can join my brokerage if she is living somewhere with four seasons. Sure, why not?

My Petty Frustration

Stupid Title Company

I don't mean to be nit-picky, ok I actually do. I closed on a sale today. My folks were fabulous. I love them!

Generally when a home closes, the title company alerts the agents so that we can be the ones to tell our clients the news. We can congratulate them and discuss all the fun and happy memories they have coming in the future. After all, we are the ones who have been with them since the beginning. We want to share their joy. It is truly the happiest part of my job.

But not this title company. They bypassed the agent (me) all together and just told my client. And that kind of sucked. Think of having really big news, you won the lottery, for example. You want to be the one to announce to your family. Instead, they hear about it on the 6 o'clock news.

I like hearing the excitement when really nice folks get the home of their dream. I like talking to them about what's next, their plans and where the Christmas tree is going to be placed. When things don't go so smoothly, it is a moment of grace, as the clients (and agent) are then released from their stress. Even if they never want to hear from me, or if I never want to hear from them, it is usually still a sweet and tender experience.

Except on this transaction. The title company stole it. So, yes, I am annoyed. It may sound like a small issue for those who aren't in the business, but frankly it isn't. There is so much abuse us agents take these days, it is nice to have a happy moment to share with our clients.

Slightly Bilingaul

A shout-out to my PDX reader who introduced me to DuoLingo. Gracias! Tienes familia bonita. Te extraño mucho.

We had painters in our home today. They came to paint the downstairs family room and my kitchen. I confess: I don't finish paint jobs. That's why I have Abe. He has been my go-to painter for years. Abe recently painted homes for two clients, one of whom I listed their home this week. So, not only does he finish my home painting jobs, he gets a bit of work on occasion from me.

In addition to running a painting company, Abe is also a designated broker. When he comes over, we talk shop for the first several minutes before we get down to business. In fact, I gave him my leftover blue painter's tape from last week, as we commiserated about new home builder walk-throughs. He was shocked at the amount of tape I had left. So was I.

Today Abe's crew came over at 8. They spent the morning taping up everything in sight. Then they began painting. However--and I was warned about this--they turned off the AC, so that the paint would dry quicker. That's well and good, but the house was too hot. So, the kids and I took off for an hour. When I came back, the house was sweltering. So, ten minutes later we put our shoes back on and set to take off once again.

When I went to tell the crew I was leaving, I noticed several walls were painted blue, not white. This was a problem, because I ordered white. "The wall is the wrong color," I told the head of the crew. "It is supposed to be white."

All of the sudden, the dude who was fluent in English just moments before could only reply with, "Que?"

"El pared neceita ser blanco, no azul. Solamente blanco," I said pointing to wall.

His eyes got big for two reasons. The second one being I spoke Spanish-ish, "Blanco?"

"Si."

Then he said a few words in Spanish I didn't know. But I certainly understood the meaning.

Anyway, Abe and the painters are coming back tomorrow. If they are confused by my Spanglish, perhaps they will understand Abe. 

My Log Cabin Will Have a Stream Running Next to It and Sketchy Cell Service

No Crazies Allowed

It appears the timing of my trip to visit Bonus Dad just happens to coincide with the August Community Outreach Committee meeting. That is just a total stroke of luck bummer. There is some random rule stating I cannot miss three meetings without consequences.

Unfortunately that will be my third meeting I have missed (first one I was in training, second one I just didn't go to because I was going to kill Muffy if I went and now this). I have no idea if I will be asked to leave the committee. If only...  If I am not, I will stick it out until the end of the year.

Jane is vacillating between running for President Elect in the Woman's Council of Realtors. I once told her if she ran, I would join, which she misinterpreted as I would be on her governing board. Fortunately, her term wouldn't start until 2021. However, she would be an officer in 2020.

I am trying to be supportive and neutral, though I may have asked what exactly does this organization do that is so great? She said they give referrals. I never needed to be part of a group of crazed drama-laced hens in order to find agents in other states. But that's just me.

I did ask Jane if she likes WCR. She hesitated before she said, "yea, kinda." That's higher praise than I am giving the Community Outreach Committee.

But lest you think this is one big complaint, it isn't. I love the Grievance Committee. I am also toying with the idea of joining the Professional Development next year. But that will depend upon if I agree to be Jane's minion in WCR. I am not sure I have time for both.

Or maybe I will just leave real estate and have a quiet existence in a log cabin where I can knit and write the Great American Novel in my spare time.

Painter's Tape

Not sorry

I have strong opinions about new builds, that is homes being built right now for people to purchase and live in. If you would like my 75-page pamphlet on reasons not to buy a new build, send $49.99 plus shipping and handling and I will gladly send it to you. Or, just wait until I get around to writing about my reasons in this blog.

Your choice.

Homebuilders don't like agents involved in real estate sales. There are several reasons for this (see my pamphlet). One of those reasons is it is our job to advise our clients. When purchasing a new build, this can be tricky, as the builder has all the power and they tend to gloss over material facts, such as the buyer can close on their new home and pay the mortgage on their new home, but the builder can't release the house and the buyer can't move in for three more months because the builder hasn't yet purchased the land the home is built on. Or, the builder has the right to put the home's fence anywhere, including not on the buyer's property. Both true stories, by the way.

Anyway, I have a fabulous client--and I do mean fabulous! They are buying a new build somewhere in Mesa. I am excited for them. This choice works well in their lives.

Mr. and Mrs. Fabulous had their final new home walk-through yesterday. The final walk-through consists of them, along with the builder representative, usually some young guy with a big smile plastered upon his face, saying such things as, "We will definitely take care of that," and me going through the home looking for imperfections. This process is tedious, and depending upon the builder rep, can be downright annoying.

As we go through this house, the builder rep will mark any areas that are not to the satisfaction of the new home owner. The wall behind the closet door not painted, noted. The kitchen cabinets not hung level (true story), noted. The way this is "noted" is with a teensy piece of blue painter's tape.

In the past I have learned builder reps tend to be stingy with the blue painter's tape. Me or my client might point out a gash in the drywall or a chunk of granite missing in the kitchen and they will smile, dab a small piece of tape and move on. If there is more than one gash or chunk, they often say things like, "the painter/counter/electrican will notice everything." Are you sure about that? Because it seems to me they should have noticed it to begin with.

Now kind of a veteran of this process, I bring my own tape. And let me tell you, the builder reps don't like it. They will smile that plastered smile, but please don't mistake that for anything other than biting their tongue.

Yesterday, I brought a three-pack of tape. I gave one to my clients and I kept one. So the three of us had the tape. The builder rep's tongue practically started bleeding from being bitten, but then again, it is my client I protect.

Between the three of us, we went through about one and a half rolls of tape. That's ok. This will mean the cabinets will be level, the gash in the shower tile will be fixed and if there happens to be a banana peel and other trash behind the kitchen cabinet (which wasn't bolted in properly) it will be removed. My client is paying a pretty penny for this new build. It isn't too much to ask for everything to be in tip-top shape before closing.

Crumby Buyers

Jane has a buyer. Herself and Mr. Jane.

They qualify for four peanutbutter cookies loan. However, Mr. Jane wants to live in a baker's dozen double dark chocolate chunk neighborhood. Also, he wants 2,000+ square feet and no home owner's association. Anything less is compromising.

Unfortunately, the Phoenix area housing market is kind of tough right now. If one is picky, one will be waiting a long time for the right cookie to come along. If one has an urgency to move (and Jane does), one should be willing to find the best cookie for the dollar. It changes the dynamics of a home purchase, but it doesn't mean one has to settle for a store-bought box of stale sugar cookies either. There's a balance. In this case it means there will be come commuting going on for Mr. Jane. Otherwise, they will just have to overpay for their carbs.

I live in a five peanut butter cookie neighborhood, but if you look around, there are four peanut butter cookie homes within a mile or less--all without HOAs. Not that Jane has to live near me, but my neighborhood--far from the double chocolate chunk area Mr. Jane wants--would work for them. There are also neighborhoods in Chandler and Tempe as well as other areas of Mesa that might work, but they are too far and the cookies are too crumbly. Just ask Mr. Jane.

This past weekend, Jane texted me. Would I please go look at homes with her? Sure, but why not take Mr. Jane, after all, he will be living there too, right? She wrote back, not a chance. They aren't agreeing, with Mr. Jane a lot more optimistic than he should be. At this point, she will just find the house and tell him when to sign the loan documents. This is what they have done their entire marriage while Mr. Jane was deployed. She found the house, he moved in. This time was't going to be any different. And, as far as she is concerned, that's the way the cookie will be crumbling.

Treasures in Heaven

I often joke about how I want a place in Heaven more than I want to sell a house. Last Wednesday's adventure was one of those types of days. Mitchell was referred to me by a lender friend. He has a home in Youngtown that he wants to sell. Youngtown, is a small community, about 1.3 square miles long in the West Valley. It was once an exclusive retirement zone (and in fact, the oldest retirement zone in the United States), but now it has family-type dwellings across the road, with kids and all.

Anyway, Mitchell has decided to sell his house without an agent. He wants to be a real estate agent someday, and figured out that this would be good practice. I started our chat with, "I understand you are selling by yourself, but do know, I would like to apply for the job if you change your mind. And if you do change your mind, I will mentor you throughout this sale process." Then, I proceeded to discuss with him for more than an hour and a half what he needs to know and different scenarios that might come up. He took notes, thanked me and raised his eyebrows a few times.

With the best of intentions, Mitchell invited me to do lots of things for little money ("will you take $250 to put this on the MLS?") all of which I declined, explaining there are agents who will jump at this chance. But I don't want to take on the liability involved. Besides, with the market being what it is, I doubt he will have trouble selling the house. And that is unfortunate in a way, because Mitchell might just get a false sense of security on how "easy" real estate sales can be.

Mitchell asked me about the purchase contract I use. I told him I couldn't provide a blank copy to him (because I like my license) but there will be agents less scrupulous than me who will do so. He will find them.

This trip was a labor of love. I knew darn well I wasn't getting the listing before I drove over. It was a favor for my lender friend. And that's ok. Maybe Mitchell won't need my help with this sale, but maybe he knows someone who will. It doesn't hurt to help others. And it doesn't hurt to store up a few treasures in Heaven. You never know when you will need them.

Adventures

You know how to get busy in real estate? Buy plane tickets.

My realtor pal, Sally, got two offers on her house in 24 hours. That's right folks, this $600,000+ gem is in a bidding war. What I find interesting about it, is that Sally has been asking me for advice. My answer has been, "ask your broker," but then we continue as a hypothetical scenario ("what if you got two offers on your listing...").

She isn't the first agent to call me asking for my broker opinion. Heaven knows I have called my fair-share of brokers and agents asking "hypothetical" questions of this nature. Sally surprised me. It turns out she is a wee bit unhappy with her current company. I suspect that's why she called me. However, I still can't give her concrete answers.

_________________

Tomorrow is the Grievance Committee Meeting. We are hearing six cases. SIX!!!

Seriously you agents. Why the heck would you let your buyer move into a vacant house a week BEFORE closing???

Why would you PUT IN WRITING that you are blatantly stealing another agent's client?

Why would you, as a seller's agent, send an addendum directly to the buyer's clients cancelling the contract and demanding the earnest money for the seller? And doing so, then tell these unsuspecting buyers who are now living in a hotel, waiting to move into their new home, a teensy lie IN WRITING, saying you, "work for the buyer's agent," and was asked to send such a document?

If you are an agent, you KNOW there is a hefty fine and some continuing education classes coming your way for these kinds of transgressions. And if you don't I assure you, your broker does know.

_________________

Right after the Grievance Committee Meeting, I am jetting across the metro Phoenix area to a small hamlet known as "Youngtown." There I will find a couple who want to sell their home without an agent. However, because they came as a referral from a good friend, I agreed to give them a complimentary consultation. Frankly, in this market it will sell immediately even without an agent. Hopefully everything will go smoothly and they won't find themselves in front of a judge.

I suspect there might be some agent out there who will sell them on putting it in the MLS for $100 or something silly like that. It won't be me. I don't take on a million dollars of liability for a $100 paycheck. These are the same agents who give the rest of our industry a bad name. They are the ones who I end up reading 42 pages of complaint about every other month when it is my turn to sit on the Grievance Committee.