When I found out this was my "new" laptop, I dusted it off, kicked it off and went down memory lane as I looked at old files from here and there. Most of these files are stored elsewhere--like DropBox or in my broker's office. But I did run across one particularly fun transaction I thought I would share with you.
A few years ago Mary called me. Mary was an 80-year old former music teacher who swore like a sailor. She lived in Davis California and bought a rental house when the time was right in Gilbert Arizona. Now, she wanted out and she wanted out now.
The house in question was pretty cute, actually. It was a cozy number, but the view was phenomenal. It was on an urban lake (we don't have "real" lakes in these parts). It also happened to be in one of those snooty neighborhoods where all the homes and neighbors look alike.
The house was priced right. It was clean, updated and had all the right stuff. It also had the wackiest set of neighbors. Next door to my listing was Mrs. Kravitz. In addition to being a busy-body, she was the president of the Home Owner's Association. She would call me on a regular basis to report some strange infraction. Finally, I explained to her, I wasn't the owner. Call the owner.
Incidentally, Mary was so sick of this woman, that Mary called all of the local religious organizations around and sent them to Mrs. Kravitz's door as revenge for the odd HOA infractions.
The real issue with Mrs. Kravitz was she was scaring potential buyers away. If she saw a car in the driveway, she would take it upon herself to be a one-woman welcoming committee, being sure to share all of the neighborhood gossip. She would tell about former tenants who lived in the home, being sure to exaggerate completely. No. There was NO gang activity that happened in 2004 where the police were called and allegedly raided the house. I checked, but it made for great conversation with Mrs. Karvitz. One buyer's agent actually called me to tell me her buyers weren't interested. They loved the house, but the next door neighbor was an incredible gossip.
When things finally came to a head with Mrs. Kravitz, I told her exactly what the buying agent said and explained, if she didn't want an empty home next door to hers, or for someone to come in and make a low-ball offer--which would affect her property value--perhaps she could find her way to actually do something other than stare out the window when she saw strange cars approaching my listing.
But it wasn't just Mrs. Kravitz. She had a team of co-neighbors who were as crazy as her. One woman actually sent me a text from the back yard of this house saying, "Just a friendly reminder, the grass needs to be cut." I called that number and let that person know the owner would be calling the police and filing trespassing charges against her. Mary didn't tell me she sent the religious affiliates to that house too, but one day I saw Quakers knocking on that door.
The folks on the other side were running an Air BNB house (thought Mrs. Kravitz told me that was impossible, because she would be the first to know and an AirBNB was against the rules and nobody broke the rules on her watch). Those same AirBNB owners also took it upon themselves to chop down some of Mary's shrubs one day. These plants were also in the back yard.
Mary tried to get me to pour weed killer all over the front yard of those folk's home, but I was afraid karma would get the best of me if I succumbed. Instead, the Jehovah Witnesses, Mormons and Harikrishnas paid a visit there too.
Eventually the place did sell. It sold for a lot less than it should have, as it stayed vacant longer than it should have. After it closed, a colleague of mine suggested I drive around the neighborhood at 3 a.m. blasting Metallica. As great as that sounded, I am sure Mary asked God to sort it out.
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