It has been a year since Bonus Mom left us. I have thought of little else lately. I suppose it isn't emotionally healthy. Then again, if someone can show me emotionally healthy grieving and give me a standard to aspire to, I would appreciate it.
Knowing this dubious holiday was in the works, I took Friday off, figuring I wasn't going to be much use to anyone anyway. Sunday would have been her 76th birthday. I am probably not much use to anyone that day either.
A friend once told me the tears flooding my head eventually fade and they are replaced by happy memories. I see that gradually happening, but I am not there yet. Bonus Mom always swore it took me longer to catch on than most.
Jane suggested I take today to do something Bonus Mom liked to do. So, I am. Bonus Mom taught me to write like a grown-up. So, that's what I am doing today. I am writing.
When I am done, I will probably cry some more and maybe I can find a way to laugh and smile while I think of her too. I miss her. I am grateful she stepped into my life when she did. I am grateful she chose me to be her almost daughter, because it was a choice. She didn't have to.
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