The Ladies Auxiliary Meeting

I am writing this with limited mobility in my left hand. I had a steroid shot today in the same hand, scratch that, in the same spot on my hand where I had surgery last April. Hopefully the shot will (eventually) help the hand heal. In the meantime, I'm incapacitated. Because I like you, I'm spell checking. I assure you what I'm typing and what you are reading look nothing alike. 

Tonight there was a Ladies Auxiliary Meeting. The last time I managed to make an appearance was last March. In April, I had hand surgery. In May, I was out of town. I guess they forgot to put me on the text thread this past summer. However, someone remembered me recently and had the presence of mind to invite me to tonight's meeting. 

The meeting was held at a seafood-centric Italian restaurant, where nothing on the menu was a reasonable price. I arrived--I'm not making this up--one minute late because I have a worthless hand and am in a lot of pain. That one minute meant everyone else was already served their drinks and knew what they wanted to order. I then found out that this past summer I was nominated the new secretary. That's nice. But I made it clear, I was refusing to commit past tonight to that particular task.  I suspect I was slotted into this position as a way to keep me committed to this group. I didn't bother to explain, taking notes is not what motivates me. 

The meeting went as expected, given I was trying to eat pasta and take notes with one hand. I'm pleased I helped manage to shoot down the bake sale they put on every year. Apparently, every member of the Ladies Auxiliary is supposed to make ten (10!!!!) different types of baked goods--like one dozen cookies, a banana bread, pumpkin pie, etc., and then we sell everything the Sunday before Thanksgiving. I've tasted a good portion of the home cooking around here. I'm shocked this is a money-maker. 

We also talked about putting on a trivia night in November. Last year it was extremely profitable. And frankly, it was a lot of fun. However, this discussion went nowhere. So, they will be making a mad-scramble to plan this in October if they choose to put it on at all. 

One of my significant issues with this "money maker" is the expected cost out of my pocket. I added up what I'm supposed to contribute for this event and it comes to more than twenty percent of Marty's weekly take-home pay for door prizes and my part of the accompanying Trivia Night dinner (two chicken spaghettis--yes that's a thing--and a sheet cake) I'm expected to make. I might make two chicken spaghettis (they are as gross as they sound) but that's the extent of my contributing. 

The last order of business was prayer intentions. I asked for prayers for my hand. I asked for this while I was attempting to put my uneaten dinner into a to-go container (try putting pasta into a to-go container with one hand!). Though they looked and commented on my completely swollen hand, which is the size of a grapefruit, and though they watched me struggle with my plate--which I could not lift--nobody offered to help me. 

Sometimes I don't understand these people. It was obvious I hadn't eaten and my hand looks like a crumpled watermelon. It was obvious I couldn't make a fist or lift anything. They saw this. They gave their, "bless your hearts." But nobody, including the two women sitting next to me and watching me spill my pasta onto the table, offered to lift the plate over the to-go box. I think that is the best metaphor for the Ladies Auxiliary as a whole. They are super nice people. However, they are clueless to the bigger picture.   

Our next meeting is scheduled for October 19th. I said I wouldn't be there. But wait? I can't miss a meeting! According to some smartass, I'm the new secretary. I pointed out, that no, I am not the new secretary. I agreed to take notes today only and was not committing to anything long-term. And even if I was the new secretary, I still wouldn't be able to attend October 19th. I will be out of town (more on that later). In deference to me being unavailable, they made the magnanimous decision to move the meeting to October 12th. That's Buckaroo's birthday. I wouldn't be attending that day either. However, if they bother to remind me, I will tell them I can't make it at a later time.