Master Gardener Hazing

Yep. It's broken. 

For the first year of the Master Gardener program, new folks are required to have fifty hours of community service. There are ample opportunities for this--like digging up the ground, throwing out one's back and putting in pavers (last Saturday), giving out trees and one that I thought would be a sure-fire win:  passing out free mini ice cream cones at the Four-States Fair. 

Except the ice cream machine died Monday night. 

No fear! The folks at the Four-States Fair weren't going to let two suckers volunteers go to waste! Instead Ms. Rebecca and I worked the "toddler room," which was a space for those UNDER THE AGE OF 5 AND THEIR PARENTS to hang out. It was complete with a bounce house, a few random toys and children over the age of 5 without parents present. 

The parents who did come and watch their toddlers were the biggest group of Karens I've seen since the last Home Owner's Association meeting I attended back in my real estate days. As I was trying to get this toddler to stop running up the slide, crashing into children half his size and instead, use the proper entrance to the bounce house, his mother came up to me shrieking I was touching her child. She's right. I was in the process of giving him a high-five for using the proper entrance. She demanded to know my name, presumably to turn me into some higher authority. I told her Maureen McCormick.  

My frustration with that particular mother was short-lived because a seven year old threw an unbridled fit because I wouldn't let him in the bounce-house. His parents were nowhere to be seen, leaving me to deal with his brattiness (he started throwing balls at kids and tried to kick me). 

Then there were the usual issues that come with a room full of toddlers. Like the mother who ignored her son's diaper while he was in the ball pit. And the same seven year old who wasn't allowed near the balls after I moved them out of the way because of toddler with diaper explosion. It caused another fit from the kid and when he went to kick me (again), I put him in time out--which he listened to. His parents never did show their faces. 

In addition to all of the above, there are lots more stories of over-tired toddlers and their crazy parents, that I managed to blur out in the five hours I was there. Plus--and I only wish I was making this up-- there was a faction of pissy folks coming in demanding to know why they couldn't have their free mini ice cream cone. Bless their hearts.   

As Rebecca and I were leaving, she said, "We deserve double hours for this." However she's already a Master Gardener and only needs 15 hours for the year. 

35.5 hours to go for me.