I Have A Problem I Didn't Know I Had

This morning I secretly called the exterminator and set up service. I did the deed when Buck wasn't nearby, so he didn't have to hear me tell the nice lady on the phone that Polly, Marty and I found a spider or two in the kitchen. Buck doesn't do spiders. 

The nice lady then told me that spiders really aren't my problem. You see, I live in Wake Village. And I live on Arizona Avenue. And I live "near the woods." All of which I knew and nice lady knew because I gave her my address. And she also knew because she grew up in Wake Village and was familiar with the area. According to the nice lady, my problem was really snakes. And her company doesn't handle snakes. As an unfortunate coincidence. Neither do I. 

Her recommendation was that I immediately head over to the local hardware store and buy something called "Snake Away," generously sprinkle it throughout my yard and that will--and I'm not making this up--"help" take care of the snake problem that I just found out I had.* The nice lady warned me, the stuff stinks, but it is "effective." I can handle smelly more than I can handle snakes. 

Now then, according to the nice lady, I will still want to have my regular pest control service, which will include setting up critter traps to ensure there are no rodents in the area that hungry snakes might want to eat. Let them find their meals elsewhere. Though all I'd seen so far in my yard was a dead mole and a possum that likes to taunt Luna, I still negotiated for a few extra traps to start our pest service. 

After I got off the phone, I called Marty. I instructed him not to come home for lunch, but instead, head over to the local hardware store and pick up the Snake Away. He can then go poking through our yard, generously spreading this stuff out, so that the snakes will feel sufficiently unwelcome. In fact, buy two bags and be extra generous in the spreading. Make sure the snakes truly get the message.  

*On a side note, we noticed the neighbor's yard last weekend smelled very sulfurous. Turns out they were spreading Snake Away.