A Rant

There is something that truly bugs me about Mrs. Worrier.

There are seven people in her family. She is not independently wealthy, nor has she taken any steps to create financial freedom, much less become independently wealthy. She has told me more than once how both her brother and sister have half a million dollar homes. That's all well and good, but as Mr. Worrier has explained to her (and me), they made different choices. He happens to be ok with that.

My issue with Mrs. Worrier is that she is hell-bent on having the nicest and biggest house money can rent at the expense of her family. And from what I can tell, it is more about looking good in the eyes of others and less about taking care of her family. Essentially, she wants to keep up with the Jones siblings. As much as I detest professional victims, I am even more annoyed by those who feel entitled.

For the past sixteen out of seventeen years, the Worriers lived in a family rental where they were given under-market rent so they could save a little and buy a home. It was three bedrooms, modest, 1,500 square feet. Yea, that may be cramped, but it was a place to live. It was within their means, and frankly, it was a gift. And by the way, even though they were paying next to nothing, they never saved anything for that future dream home.

Last year, the Worriers rented a home and that was a bit of a disaster. When their lease was up, with no foresight, Mrs. Worrier moved her kids into her parent's house. Her husband lives in a hotel. Her parents weren't keen on this and now she and the kids are living in a different city in Central Arizona. Mr. Worrier is still paying $100 a night for a hotel. He works two jobs so his wife doesn't have to (desk job and Uber). Her job is to take care of her babies. A noble profession and vocation.

Taking a snapshot of today, they are homeless. They can find a home to live in. But instead, she is looking for Buckingham Palace and no other place will do. I am offended by this because it doesn't have to be this way. All she has to do is put her family first.

Both Marty and I grew up extremely poor. Marty grew up with the same number of people as the Worriers in an 800 square foot, three bedroom, one bath, single-wide in the middle of the desert. I can't imagine my late mother-in-law lamenting over needing a separate room just to fold clothes in. Needing new and fancy wasn't an issue.

Growing up, there were only five of us. When I was a teenager, because we were homeless, we moved to the slums in Burlington Vermont. Our 100 year old home was smaller than the one Marty lived in. It had two bedrooms, one bathroom My brothers had the master bedroom and my parents crammed a full-sized mattress and a small chest of drawers into the small secondary bedroom and still had to move the bed six inches from the wall to make everything fit. I slept in the attic. My "dresser" and "book shelf" were milk crates stacked against the wall. Issues such as, did we have enough counter space to make our dinner, was the farthest thought from my mother's head. I loved my time in Vermont. Incidentally, I preferred the slums over the month or so we were homeless. When we were homeless it really stank. Having a house and our family together was all I really cared about as a kid.

I say this and I know I am lucky. I live in a sizable home. I saved for a down payment. I kept my credit clean to get a reasonable interest rate. I paid attention and bought at the right time. We have more than enough space--but I guarantee, the size of the house does not equate to my happiness. I also know if we had to, and we were homeless, and Marty was maxing our (hypothetical) credit card out on a hotel and it was keeping our family apart, I wouldn't be so selective. As wives and mothers, it isn't about us. We are grateful for our lives. I wish I could explain this to Mrs. Worrier.

The big picture is about family. We can create our own happiness and it doesn't come from a big, fancy home. Marty and I don't feel entitled. We are grateful, because we know it is only a house and it doesn't dictate our self worth.