Of Fathers and Funerals

Simon The Social Worker from Hospice hospice called me Thursday. I was at Caesar's Palace, with my work team. We were heading to lunch. I'd already been an emotional drag with my new co-workers for the past few days and Simon's call did nothing to lighten my mood. 

The reason he called me was because while he was talking to my brother, Squirrel got so choked up he asked Simon to call me. Simon's big question was how could he help with Dad's funeral arrangements? As soon as he said, "funeral," we found out that Squirrel's condition was hereditary, because I could no longer talk and my eyes were leaking. It was the first anyone had uttered the word, "funeral." 

I've been to funerals. I know what happens at them. But it is one of those events that other people coordinate. And, as far as I was concerned, before Thursday, they just magically happen when the need arises. 

Simon and I parted ways, with the understanding we would regroup later that day. In the mean time, I stared at my lunch and tried to listen carefully to my coworkers as I mulled around Simon's question. When I got back to the hotel, I called the Smartest Man in the World, Bonus Dad, who filled me in on what I needed to do. He has had to coordinate one funeral before (Bonus Mom's), so he was my expert. And, he was very helpful. 

I also called my mother (and may have gotten a tad bit cranky with her) who gave me her perspective on what she thought Dad's wishes would be in this area. Her perspective aligned with Squirrel's and mine. We didn't consult Darwin. He and I will be arriving in Phoenix an hour apart today, we can discuss then. 

As I write this, Dad is still with us. Squirrel told me a few days ago that Dad didn't have a week left. I was walking through a casino at that moment too. Everyone thinks Dad is holding out right now for Darwin and I to arrive. Time will tell. 

Most likely I won't have the right resources to blog for the next several days. I expect to be sleeping on Dad's couch until he passes. I only brought a few professional clothes for my conference because this was totally unplanned. I certainly didn't bring anything comfortable to last me a week or two. There are solutions for that. I only wish there was a solution to help my father. 

I want to share one more item: I spoke with Bonus Dad earlier in the day as well, he said something about, "understanding" if Squirrel and Darwin didn't feel that Bonus Dad was qualified to be considered "family." I darn near coughed up my iced tea, but assured him NOTHING could be further from the truth. ("You are my people, Bonus Dad--never forget that."). Later, I spoke with Darwin and told him what Bonus Dad said. Darwin's automatic reply was, "What is he talking about?? He's been family since 1986!"