I Said It In A Nice Way

I struggle with the concept that I would rather hang out with the ladies from the Church of Christ than the women from my Catholic Church. Honestly, if Marty wasn't willing to go to church with me (and I swear this is the only reason he goes), I'd be spending my Sundays at the local Church of Christ. 

It had been pointed out to me (by Marty) that perhaps I didn't really know many of the Catholic ladies very well and I should get to know them. So, I joined the Lady's Auxiliary Group. At 54, I'm the youngest in this gang of women who seemingly have all been friends since birth. This group exists for the purposes of, well, after several months, I'm still not sure. They conduct a fundraiser once a year for a local charity (the domestic woman's shelter seems to be the recent favorite) complete with door prizes, food and whatever else; clean the church every week; supply pickles and olives for the meals after funerals; and on the second Sunday of the month, they provide the coffee and donuts. And by the way, the Lady's Auxiliary pays for these supplies instead of asking the congregation to help cover the costs--something I did not know when I joined. And more to the point, when I suggested in January's meeting we should ask the congregation to help out with the costs and ask for help cleaning the church all of the women looked at me like I had six heads and had insulted their granddaughters. However, I stand by my comment. 

Don't get me wrong, I really like the LA women and I guess they like me. They are fun too, although everyone seems so serious. The meeting is a meal, a glass of wine and then a laundry list of what needs to be done to keep the Church running and help out Father J. There is no fellowship. In the past, my ideas have been repeatedly shot down because, "that's not how things are done." It reminds me of other committees I've sat on where the same has been said. The difference is I feel like I need this group for access in my small town, but, maybe I don't? 

That brings me to this week's LA meeting. I dreaded going. In another unbalanced week and on a Thursday that already held two other events in my day, the thought of sitting through another, "nobody bothers to help us at the Church" bitch and moan fest was wearing thin. It was even more difficult because hours earlier I was invited to a future event by one of the Church of Christ ladies. When I pointed out to her I don't go to her church, she laughed and said, "It doesn't matter. You are still our Sister."

This past Thursday at the Lady's Auxiliary the topic of, "we can't get anyone to help us," came up. It was about the third time that night they had rounded to this particular narrative. First was about their charity, then about cleaning the church and then about something else. And then I spoke up. 

*I explained that in the year I've been in Texarkana, my group of companions has become the Church of Christ ladies and the reason why is they have gone out of their way to make me feel welcome. It took until November until someone from my church actually took the time to invite me to an event--and that was only because I made an effort to ask if I could join the Lady's Auxiliary. And the event I was invited to was because they were looking to make money off of me, not because anyone wanted to get to know me or my family. I asked them how many other new parishioners have they missed because they have all known each other since they were three and inadvertently formed their clique. In a small town where Catholics are such a minority, why are we not reaching into our own community and seeking others to join us and be a part of what we do? Why is there no welcome committee? Why is there no meals for families in need? No community involvement? Isn't that what the purpose of the Lady's Auxiliary should be? 

And that stopped the wine flowing. 

It is fair to say, I got their attention. The rest of our chat was about what the Lady's Auxiliary could do to increase their impact in our church. Melanie made a note to talk to Father J. about starting a Hospitality Committee (even separate from our group). Adaline has opted to find a few folks who can take meals to homebound seniors--neither of which the Lady's Auxiliary ever thought to help with before. 

When pressed for some "fundraiser" I suggested why not a parish game night where we can all get together and play board games AND GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER. Everyone who comes can bring a dessert to share instead of us baking everything. If there needs to be a "fundraising" element, then fine, pass the hat that night. Don't laugh. This was a successful event at both of the parishes I went to in Mesa. There was one naysayer who gave a, "Well... who would come?" My reply was, "You won't know if you don't bother to try." However three other woman jumped on the idea and thought it had merit. There was even talk about getting the young adults involved to help with the younger kids at this particular event.  

I have no idea what's in store for me in this group. I left Thursday's meeting a lot happier than I arrived. But I must say, I'm more excited about this upcoming Sunday night's Church of Christ prayer meeting. 

  *I said it in a nice way. I swear!