Today has been, for a lack of a better phrase, like falling into the rabbit hole. Between emotional heartache and uncontrollable sobbing, I have stared into space and played stupid little computer games. There has been a slight bit of normal. I went grocery shopping. And I was asked to negotiate a peace treaty between an 18 year old girl I know and her mother. Baseball is on later. I don't even care.
The crying jags are simply exhausting. And yet, I can't sleep. I finally ate at 3 p.m., which appeared to be the cure for the constant pounding headache that was competing for attention with the heartache. Ollie hasn't left my side all day, which is sweet of him, but the kids need to give their dog a bath. Crying, at least for me, is good for the sinuses.
Grief is not linear. There is some relief in knowing this level of unfathomable and explicitly heinous sorrow will subside. Apparently it isn't going to happen soon enough. Tomorrow is what would have been Reader Number Two's 75th birthday. I am guessing the tears aren't going to stop tomorrow either.
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