The Quilt

Buckaroo's Quilt

My Reader Number Two closed her eyes for the last time yesterday at 6:00 p.m. My heart is aching in a way I never thought my heart would ache. And that isn't over-dramatic. I have managed to live almost 50 years before I lost someone I loved so much.

Last night, when the news came, I remember being in a surreal state. Buckaroo and I were the only ones home. I was upstairs. He was down. I choked on my tears, consumed with emotional pain. And then, in a moment of clarity I grabbed my empty cup and walked it to the kitchen. On my way, I saw 237 things that reminded me of Reader Number Two and the uncontrollable weeping started all over again.

Buckaroo, who is only 14, was playing his video game. I remember him telling someone online, "Mate, I am going to be gone a bit. No dude. Deal with it." Because, is a big deal to be in an online battle and then abandon your team. But he did.

Confused as to what to do to help his mother, he brought me water. I saw his sweet and concerned face and lost it all over again. You see, Reader Number Two was in the delivery room with me when Buckaroo was born. That memory came flashing back, but I couldn't talk to explain it to him.

Somehow he wrangled me upstairs and gave me a pillow. A moment later he was back with an apple blossom--a dessert I introduced to Reader Number Two and was planning on bringing her next week when she felt a bit better. Of course, Buck's sweet gesture was lost on my grief, but I thanked him anyway. Profusely.

Completely unsure as to help his mom, finally, Buckaroo brought me his quilt and his own pillow. He sat with me and played with my hair as I stared into space. "You can go back to your game, Sweetie." I said. "I will be ok. Thanks for your help."

He shook his head. "No. You are more important," he stated.

And though I wanted my day to be so different and I wish I could go back in time just so Reader Number Two would be alive and see this story. She would have been touched by his loving gestures. Just like I am.