Back to the Drawing Board

So yesterday I showed Dee, Mr. Dee and Seth the Felon a home that is on the corner of Buckeye Road and some single-digit avenue. The house was built in 1916 and it is a far cry from "flip," even though that was how it was touted.

Dee simply loved it. She loved the space. There was enough room for parking in the back yard. She loved the layout--two bedrooms on each side and the middle was a living/family room. The once back porch had been converted into a kitchen/laundry/bathroom. She loved the new HVAC. She loved the new(er) floors that covered up the super-soft spots beneath. She loved the fact the kitchen was big enough to hold a super-sized refrigerator if one existed. However, I don't think the floor would hold it. The floor actually sagged significantly beneath the stove and refrigerator--which were on different walls. Then she even pointed out, as we stood outside, "oh look! I can see where the new roof was added!" She pointed the the microscopic patch on the side of the roof where the only new tile lay.

"Can we offer $50,000 less and close by Friday?" She asked. While I processed that, she included this gem, "I don't think we need a home inspection."

My head throbbed.

I did ask her to take a minute to walk around with Seth and Mr. Dee and make sure they could find (and fit) into the crawl space. Also, why not find the attic and ensure the duct work for the new HVAC was adequate for her tastes. I asked if she was ok with the idea that the floor was spongy in many places (LIKE UNDER THE REFRIGERATOR) and with a crawl space below it might be kind of a problem. After all, the termites have had 104 years to eat the floor joists. Nevertheless, Dee was simply thrilled.

And to be fair, truly for her purposes, the home really would work well for what she wanted. Plus, between Seth and the rest of the gang, there is talent abound to fix everything that might possibly be wrong with this place.

In the end, I asked her if she wanted me to ask the agent to provide the right amount of evidence for this flip (forms, and what is included in the Arizona Revised Statutes). "That won't be necessary." She said.

I didn't sigh until I got in the car.

As I drove home, rehearsing how I was going to present this low-ball offer to the other agent, Dee changed her mind. Actually, the parole board changed Dee's mind. It turns out they won't let her felons live in this particular neighborhood. It was too close to other like-minded felons, so unless they could move the house 400 feet (yes, really only 400 feet),  this wasn't going to happen.