John and Mary's Hotel

So Mary and John bought a home. In fact, they bought it from my clients. My clients, have a VA loan, and for the honor of sacrificing for our country, they have a loan that requires more red tape than common sense. Therefore, when Mary and John asked to buy my client's home, we knew there was no way my folks could move into their new home right away.

VA loans are, essentially, a complete pain in the ass. They take more time because some government agency, who has no skin in the game, has to add three times as much paperwork that nobody will ever read, to the process. For example, the appraisal--which looks like every other appraisal that isn't a VA loan--took--and I only wish I was making this up--10 days longer than any other appraisal I have ever seen. And the appraiser didn't apologize for making it take 10 days longer than normal (which, by the way, was a total of 20 days). Additionally, a veteran, who has a special loan eligibility, has to sell their home and then wait until someone at the government pushes a button on the computer to reinstate them before they can get a new VA loan. The entire eligibility process can take "up to" two weeks. And, not that it happens to be relevant in this case, the closing costs for a VA loan are astronomical. Knowing all of this about VA loans (well, I researched part of it prior to advising my clients), we asked Mary and John to please let my folks stay in their home (the one they sold to Mary  and John) , once it closed until October 25. And, with the Good Lord willing, and if the creek don't rise, my folks can close on their home by then.

Now, it should be said, I don't represent Mary and John. I mention this because there is no way if I did, I would have allowed Mary and John to agree to let my folks stay. Essentially, Mary and John just bought their first home and they can't move in for an additional two weeks. They can't paint walls. They can't decorate. They can't cook their first meal in their brand new home. Nope. All they get to do is drive by and make sure the place hasn't caught fire. Additionally, because I represented the seller, and for whatever unfathomable reason, the buyer's agent allowed me to write up the post-possession agreement. So, my folks aren't paying a dime for this privilege of being homeless. When I wrote up the post-possession agreement I ran it by El Jefe, who said, "There is no way the buyers will agree to this."

They did.

Now then, Mary and John have just realized they own a home and can't live there for another week. And, guess what? They aren't happy about it. Their agent seems to have forgotten we have closed, all has been signed and there is an agreement in place that makes it impossible for her folks to set foot on the property. Or, more likely, she would like to forget, but I am under the impression Mary and John are reminding her hourly.

The agent's latest request (after triple-checking that yes, indeed, my folks are staying until 11:59 p.m. October 25, 2017), is can Mary and John put all of their worldly items in the garage until they can move in. My answer has been no. Absolutely not. There is a huge liability.

What if the buyer's boxes get wet? Catch fire? What if they bring in roaches/rats, which will, in turn get into my client's possessions? What happens if Mary's grandmother's heirloom diamond ring just happens to go missing? There are probably a million other possibilities that I don't even want to think about that could happen. Don't laugh. Those kinds of things do happen. Plus--and I know Mary and John only consider this a minor issue--my clients are currently using the garage.

However, my clients are perfectly fine with this sharing their garage. They are grateful they aren't homeless and are happy to help out John and Mary. I realize this. I also realize I am the bad guy here. My final communication with the other agent was for her to write up a storage agreement and I would give it to El Jefe (who will then say "NO!" which will make this all moot, but then I won't be the bad guy) and my clients.

I pointed out to the other agent, contracts are never for the good times. They are always for the bad times. We just don't have a crystal ball of all the circumstances that could happen if the buyers and my clients share the garage space for a few days. There is no conflict on my end. I protect my client. In fact, my clients don't know any of the countless disappointments I have caused for John, Mary and namely, their agent, today. However, there is a conflict on the other end. In fact, right now, the biggest conflict is John and Mary (and their agent) made a foolish decision to allow my folks to stay. Moving their belongings in might just be doubling down on foolish. I hope we don't have to find out.