Adventures in Grief

Today is the anniversary of Bonus Mom's death. It is 3:23 a.m. and I can't sleep. So, I'm here writing about Adventures in Grief. 

There's so much I want to say about Bonus Mom, she was a kind, loving person who took me in at my most vulnerable. She molded me into the adult I am today. She showed love in ways that are hard to explain--like getting up early while I was in labor, driving across town and holding my hand when Buckaroo was born. That is the only time in the years I knew her that Bonus Mom got up before 8 a.m. 

I could use Bonus Mom right now. She could advise me how to help my father, whose health is precarious. She could tell me how to help and guide my young adults, who don't need me but need, well, something. She could tell me all sorts of things that I wish she were here to help navigate me through. 

A friend once explained the the grief never goes away. But the raw upset eventually blossoms into happy memoires. My memories are happy. I just wish she was here to make more.