Abby

I hear they are yummy. 

My Bonus Mom taught me the importance of taking care of the lost souls. She saved me. I was 19 and on a very dangerous and destructive path with no return. Had she not stopped me... well, she did. She took me in, she loved me like I was her own. She fed me, clothed me, held my hand when I needed it and released me when it was time to go.

It burns me that the last thing I ever said to her was that I loved her and would support any decision she wanted to make. I didn't realize that meant she would make the decision to leave this world. I want to take it back, unsay those words. Because what I really meant was I love her and would support most any decision she wanted to make as long as it gave all of us mere mortals more time with her. As much as I would give anything for another five minutes of her time, I would seriously give much more so Mr. Reader Number Two could have 10 more minutes with her instead.

Oh, I made Mr. Reader Number Two cry last week. I hate that I do that. I hate it more, because we both start in and usually Buckaroo (for some reason) is always nearby and has to have that weird uncomfortableness that comes when one is 15 and is helplessly stuck around two bawling adults. But I digress...

One of the early life lessons Bonus Mom instilled in me is to pay forward what kindness I can. I swear I have made a mental list for years of all the nice things people have done for me that I have wanted to pay back or forward. I don't think I will leave this life giving as much as I have received. No matter how much I try.

Tonight, I went out with Abby. Abby is one of my bonus kids. She is 18, out on her own. She has bright blue hair and one more semester of high school. She currently works two jobs, has a very long term boyfriend and has a wisdom and maturity I wished I had possessed at a young age. I have known Abby since she was seven. She was part of the home school community I belonged to. I recognized the at-risk behaviors in her family and did what I could to look after her. I got Polly's Girl Scout leader involved and the two of us keep tabs on her ever since. Abby and Polly get a long ok, but they are mere acquaintances with neither having any real burning desire to cultivate a friendship.

Tonight I brought Abby her Christmas present when I took her out for dinner. Then we went to Trader Joe's, where I bought her a box of JoJo cookies. Then we went to one of her jobs where she picked up her paycheck. We laughed and joked. She told me repeatedly I spoiled her. Then she told her co-worker I was her bonus mom. It made me smile and cry inside. That is another kindness I need to figure out how to pay back and forward.

Abby doesn't know about my Bonus Mom.

I hope I can pay forward enough of Bonus Mom's love and kindness to others. And I hope I can set enough of an example to Abby of the way Bonus Mom lived and how she had an impact on those around her. Hopefully I can make a difference for others.