To be clear, this house is 3,000 square feet, four bedrooms, no carpet except the bedrooms, modern by anyone's standards and $1,800 a month--which is high for them, but frankly a bargain in this market. It is managed by the owner.
Getting to the home a few minutes earlier, I had time to walk through, marveling about how lucky Mrs. Worrier would be if she were approved (because, you know, she has the whole bruised credit, pet, no money thing going for her). Indeed it was a lovely place. The pictures don't truly do it justice. It was everything she said she wanted. In fact, I even thought, there is no way she can find fault with this place.
I am so stupid.
Here are a few, but not all, of her objections.
1. There is a bedroom downstairs. The worrier's oldest child, a teenager, mind you, cannot possibly sleep in this room because Mrs. Worrier was worried something might happen. So, the downstairs bedroom would be the, "clothes folding room."
2. There are two secondary bedrooms upstairs. She said they were too small and was I sure this was a 3,000 square foot home?
3. Because I am in sales, and it is inherent in my nature to give counter-suggestions to objections, I did so. When I suggested the loft might be big enough to hold a couple of her littles if she couldn't (somehow) fit them in the other bedrooms, she disagreed. All five children would just have to share the two bedrooms. Also, the loft--which was easily 16 feet by 16 feet, was "too small" for a homeschool space. Besides, there was a wall cut-out and she was worried one of them might fall through it. (I have a slightly similar design. We moved in when Buckaroo was 6 months old. He never fell through it.). I suggested a screen put up over the cut-out. Nope. They might climb the screen and fall through to the downstairs. I decided not to point out the upstairs windows also open to the outside and this may be a hazard too.
4. The home has a formal living room, dining room, family room, loft and now bonus bedroom for folding clothes. She swears there is no space to homeschool anywhere.
5. The staircase is "too steep." Apparently. She was worried her children might fall. Or, they would push each other down the stairs. By the way, her youngest is three. I just sold a home with stairs to a family with two children under the age of three. Their attitude was "Hey, let's teach them how to use the stairs and still watch them carefully." (Incidentally, the only human being to this day who has fallen down the stairs in my home is me. I am not even going to give an opinion about parents who have to worry about their children pushing each other down the stairs.)
6. She was concerned the 2 car garage was too small to hold Mr. Worrier's Prius (she would be parking her 15-passenger van outside because it certainly wouldn't fit in any garage). Also where would they put their camping equipment and bikes? There certainly wasn't room in the 2 car garage that would, possibly be big enough to hold one car. I said the shed out back. Or at least one of the 14 zillion closets could hold the camping gear. But no. I guess the camping gear and bikes are close friends who cannot be separated.
7. And finally (I am missing a few, I know), she gave me this worry. And I swear, on my bonus mother's grave, I am not making this up. Mrs. Worrier looked at the dining room space and said the space was too small for her table and china hutch. It would just be too "squishy." I asked if the china hutch could go into another space, perhaps--like along another wall? "I don't have a hutch yet. I just want one," she replied.
And at that point I figured all I was going to get out of today's adventure was blog fodder. So, enjoy.
Mrs. Worrier did tell me her husband was going to kill her because she just couldn't possibly take this horrible house and he was getting impatient and wants to leave the hotel room. So, I am changing my strategy. I am now only showing homes to her when he is around. He can handle the objections from now on and you folks will have more to read.
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